toothplug
i used to feel like a foreigner in chicago, a smudge on the windshield of a beautiful city. i wasn't aware of all the little nooks and corner bakeries and comic book stores that are essential to being a local. to be honest, i still don't feel like a total citizen. i have a lot more learning to do. but i finally don't feel as if i belong somewhere else, as if i could possibly be anywhere else anymore. i feel more like a child growing up in the city, eager to reach new peaks and always climbing.
i am central to this room, this room is not central to me. i have a center of gravity, a core in my gut, a lifeline, not quite eternal. this place, this mindset, it is not central to my existence and my existence is not central to this pit. a hole in my center is nothing i cannot fill.
it feels like time stands still. waiting to patch up the wounds, waiting for the easy fix that won't come. i realize now, i'm on a mountain trail, climbing up, sweating and panting. and the top, oh the top is going to taste sweet. the burns on my heels will be worth it.