yotayshakeit
To have an opportunity like this. It's astounding; baffling.
How many people get to do this?
This has the potential to change my future, to change my life. To change everything.
I am so grateful to be so fortunate.
Sleep sleep sleep. That's all I can think about right now. Not only to sleep, but to dream; to create an alternate universe and to control everyone's every thought and move; to do things not possible in the real life.
They are versatile. Like.....napkins. Or heavy textbooks. Or people. Yes, paperclips are very much like people. Bendy and strong and useful and sometimes shiny or decked out in new colors or stripes.
I like paperclips.
Most people don't have it in this day and age. Seriously.
To find something positive in every situation, conversation, event, it's tiring. And takes skill.
But it can change people's lives in ways they never thought could happen. And for that it's worth it.
Candy canes all in a row, shaped like cheery little curved canes. Almost like sticks.
Blood red and cream, they bring me back to my childhood. A cooling menthol, a sweet taste.
Nothing could be better.
What you did.
It's evil. Conniving. Malevolent.
Wrong.
And now I have learned and accepted and moved on.
And you're left alone, and back to where you were in the first place.
But I'm ahead.
Can't do much about that, now can you.
I'll admit it. I have never broken up with anyone. They have always left me. Always. Every time I would be crushed and heartbroken and would act like an abandoned puppy.
But this time it's different. This time, I am falling away from you, and I would try and pretend that I cared, for your sake; but I don't.
Not. One. Bit.
I am sorry.
Tough, sharp, threatening. They haunt me, tease me, say, "Look, we're right here, just waiting for you to screw up."
They've already got me. I'm torn, bleeding, ruined.
I don't know what to do.
That restaurant is closed. But no worries, I didn’t want to go there anyways. I’d rather be home, with him, in his arms. Safe. Happy. Protected. There’s no other feeling like it; to be with him. I could spend my life with him and never, EVER, get tired of him. It’s impossible.
writing since 2010 · 10 entries · 9 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means Taysuzanne showed up.
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9days written
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the words Taysuzanne reaches for
changesleepnowclosedratherhomearmssafehappyspendtiredimpossiblecanespaperclipsrestaurantworries