CalistaSeitz
I remember Raven
With hair to match the inky color of the feathers of the bird which she was named for.
I remember Raven
With one eye blue as the racing river and the other eye green as the moss that drifted through it.
I remember Raven
With freckles that dotted her fair skin and gently sprinkled her nose and her cheeks and her shoulders.
I saw Raven
Dance in the snow last Christmas, with the delicate snowflakes painting her full lips blue and her plump cheeks red.
I saw Raven
Tend to that child that we didn't know that had fallen off his bike; She had tenderly kissed his skinned knee and carried him back into town.
I saw Raven
Stand on the enormous pile of dirt in the field, silhouetted by the stars as she screamed into the night her favorite line from her favorite book; "I feel infinite."
I imagine Raven
Was lonely before I found her in the bathroom stall pressing blades into the sensitive skin of her wrist and I grabbed the razor and flushed it down the toilet.
I imagine Raven
Finally felt beautiful when her scars had cleared three years later and she had finally recovered from her crippling depression.
I imagine Raven
Screamed when that eighteen-wheeler skidded out of the lane and crashed right into her feeble pick-up truck, instantly taking her away from this world.
And away from me.
I'll never wear a miniskirt
For if I do
My little sister may believe
That scanty is flattering.
I'll never do drugs
For if I do
My younger brother may believe
That getting high is the only outlet.
I'll never smoke
For if I do
My second sister may believe
That cigarettes look cool.
I'll never drop out of school
For if I do
My baby sister may believe
That giving up is the right way.
I'll never kill myself
For if I do
My siblings may believe
That I didn't love them
That they're meant to be alone
That it's their faults.
I'll never leave them
For if I ever did
I would never forgive myself.
My heart is wrapped in rose petals
There are paint spots on my skin
There's no magic on my outside
But I know there's some within.
My lungs are full of breezes
There's glitter in my blood
I have fireworks on my insides
While my outside is covered in mud.
My teeth are crooked
My skin is pallid
My hair is poorly dyed
But I have all kinds of beauty
Way deep down inside.
My stomach is full of butterflies
My bones are made of trees
On the outside I'm plain and quite dull,
But I'm quite beautiful where no one can see.
Her squeals of delight pierce my ears
As she runs through the bluebonnets.
Her white dress flutters around her ankles in the wind,
And her azure eyes shame the sky, making it appear to be a dull bowl above our heads.
She runs forward,
Her wandering fingers with their plump wrists trailing through the flowers.
I chase my baby sister
Into the velvet waves
Of comforting petals
As the wind and clouds and sun
Guides us home.
writing since 2013 · 4 entries · 4 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means Calista showed up.
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the words Calista reaches for
ravenbelievesisterskinoutsidefullrememberimaginerunswinddullplumpbabypetalshairbeautiful