daisybear
she shepherded them up them hill, like forlorn sheep. as they walked past her she counted them; she only counted nine.
shit, she exclaimed, who was missing? it had to be johnny, it was always johnny. little bugger had a terrible habit of going in the complete wrong direction she asked.
it was automatic, to think like she did. always negative. especially when she looked at herself now in the mirror. how could anyone love her, how could he love her? what had she been thinking that night.
but it was over now. he was gone and she was left hoping for more. she would never be able to please him. she would never be good enough.
as she stood staring at her reflection in the mirror another thought had occurred to her. what had brought her here? why, on a whim, had she decided the only place she could truly find happiness was the one place that always brought her down?
writing since 2011 · 3 entries · 3 days shown up
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the words Helli reaches for
nowmirrorlovebroughtcountedjohnnyheadachingautomaticnegativeespeciallyherselfthinkingnighthopingable