enteringxghost
Autumn is falling. I use the word "autumny" for my hair. It's curly, and somewhere betweeen blonde and orange and red - my husband calls me paprika. I use autumny, because it's the exact color of the falling oak leaves from the old tree in my backyard.
It's something big or small - the image of a raindrop on a blade of grass; hearing the first "I love you," or even more so, an "I hate you"; watching clouds move over the sun; taking in the giant city. I hope you find some every day.
meaning: a realization
an idea
a sudden recognizing -
hello lightbulb.
welcome home, light.
brilliance returns
There are three things in my life which I can say I am fully passionate about: Music, my Miiko (boyfriend/one-day-husband), and acceptance.
Music was there when no one else was, and fills every cavern in my soul.
Miiko is the other half of me; we interlock together like those fitting puzzle pyramids.
Acceptance is the one thing no one gave me for years, and what I will always extend.
Spring next year I'll have applied to U of Wisconsin. I can't wait. I'm going home to Mica. Thank god. I grew up here, and I'll always love it here, but I want out.
The fall is cold; the winter colder. I'm waiting for a warmer spring and a warmer life.
I used to work in the stacks of my local library. Small. Dusty. Very chilly. But good books for such a small town. I miss it there, huddling in my fuzzy sweaters and reading books as fast as I could get through them. Words are always, always warm.
I was warned a thousand times, but not by others – by myself. “Don’t love, you’ll only get hurt.” “Don’t try, you’ll only fall.” “Don’t jump, they’ll walk away before they can catch you.” No more. You changed it all. I love you, Miiko. You have my heart.
I will never not love you. Be warned.
I will always be a listening ear. Be warned.
I will never give up on you. Be warned.
No matter what happens, I will never walk away.
Be warned.
To you all.
writing since 2011 · 9 entries · 7 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means Emily showed up.
3longest streak
7days written
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the words Emily reaches for
lovewarnedmiikofallwalkdonthousandothershurtjumpcatchchangedheartbooksspringhome