fearandwonder
That's what it feels like. I can't walk, and I definitely can't run. I can only shuffle along behind everyone else shuffling along behind everyone else shuffling along behind everyone else shuffling along and I'm sure, somewhere, there are people who have split from this everlasting line, but they're not here, in infinity.
Solitaire is my go-to avoidance technique. And I suppose it is me in a nutshell. I am so happy - no, not happy but content - on my own, and I feel like no one can see that... And everyone worries. Everyone worries that I am so lonely. Of course I am lonely but it is better than the alternative, it is better than pain.
The clouds parted exactly as they're always meant to and never do, and all of a sudden the rain fell down on me like it really did want me to die. I like rain a lot, but like a father you love when it is violent you fear it more than anything. I tried to keep walking, but sometimes things hold you back.
You haven't failed, I promise you that. How could you fail me? I've failed myself by having such expectations. I've failed myself by being so blind. You've not failed me at all, for you've only been what, deep down, I knew you always were. I shouldn't have expected more, yet I did. I failed us.
It was dark
And the leaves covered up my lights
I'm sorry that the road brought us this way
But we would have collided
Whatever happened.
Why do they that smiles can light up your day? They can't, you know. Sure, sometimes they can. But when you're having the worst day in the world no number of mouth muscle contractions can make you feel any better.