jamesrwinterbottom
The car sped up the ramp and the back end wobbled as the car burst on to the freeway. The rush-hour traffic provided plenty of obstacles but I was able to swerve my way through them and the sirens began to be more distant.
"What do you mean the kingdom is mine?" I aksed.
I didnt' receive a response, just a sweeping hand gesture from this weird guy. I looked up and saw the land I'd inherited in front of me. Surely they wouldn't let a drug addict waster like me take charge of all this!
I walked in and it was up there on the projector and the rest of the department were sat staring at the picture. It was meant to be a private moment and the picture was something we swore we'd never share. She obviously didn't take that promise very seriously.
I turned out of the room and walked away, keeping on walking until I'd left for good.
I pushed my hands on the double doors and the smell of disinfectant hit my nostrils in an instant. This was a place of medicine, of illness and of sanitised cruelty. I wondered if I would ever leave those doors on my feet.
I stood at the front of the church with my mouth open - waiting.
I felt the paper like substance rest on my tongue and tried to swallow.
It wouldn't go down.
Perhaps God really did know and see everything.
The breeze rushed against my face and the salt air filled my lungs. I couldn't see the sea but I could feel it, everyone other one of my sense told me where I was. It was like they were compensating for my eyes and I felt overwhelmed. Was it time to return to the sea?
The letter was written. This was it. The big chance to break away. But then a moments doubt, always a moment. I leave the computer to compose myself and have a drink. When I return I know I can never go through with it and hold down the back space button until the resignation letter disappears.
One corridor after the next, clutching my forms and hoping that I will see the department I am looking for. I thought I had it about an hour ago, but it was 16a part ii, which was right, but my form did not have the correct stamp. More searching, soon the administration will be complete. But 36 hours in I have still not been able to obtain a tax disc for my car.
I pushed my hand up against the wall, solid and unforgiving. Another three walls just the same on the other sides. I was trapped. How had this happened? There was no door, so someone had built this wall around me while I slept. Who had built these walls and what was on the other side?
The world span beneath me and I felt an enormous sense of clam rush through me. Below people worried about their make-up, dithered over which film to watch and got lost in the mundanity of everyday life. Up here I could finally see that none of it mattered but at the same time it was all essential.
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writing since 2011 · 36 entries · 35 days shown up
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