jinip
Predictable patterns rule my world. Wake up, live, sleep. Life, death, renewal. It's the predictability that gets me, though. Why must the world seem so filled with choices when so many patterns are absolute?
I thought my verdict had been made. I thought that I had already made a final decision about her. But every nerve in my body vied against me, rebelled at my stupidity, and a trembled at the power of my own subconscious. But I was stronger than myself. I had to be. This was the way it was going to be, whether I liked it or not.
I'd had these feelings before. It was just like every other time something like this had happened. I never learned. But then again, things were different, too. Feelings come and go and change and come back again, and I can make my peace with that.