Rebekah

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Bargain To gain for less Bargain Insane In vain? Trampled By bargains

I never thought that I liked bargains. I mean, really, I sound stupid. I LIKE BLACK FRIDAY AND NOONE WILL TAKE ME TO GET A BARGAIN!

lining

The lining of his coat is worn and old Homeless and cold He can't find a silver lining He can't find a way to alter- His past, his flaws All those wrong turns It's all churning inside him But the lining of his coat is still worn The people with their shopping bags still make a wide berth Not knowing all the lonely man wants, needs For Christmas is warmth A second glance Another chance And time Time to become visible again To become stable again To become able.

nobody

Somebody? Anybody? Nobody... An empty body Alone on the pavement Enslaved by nobody She is just another body She could have been somebody Anybody but a dead body

duct

Dear me My tear ducts are screwed up My hair stands up (overwhelmed by static) My mind is cracked My soul sports ashen holes I am somehow more than whole (1 and 1/2 perhaps?) I swallowed my feet like an ouroboros it's tail But I would not say it's over Or that I even failed I could never be righter nor wronger Sometimes I feel outside myself Like am looking at a strange artifact on a dusty shelf and I want to break it (me) because it makes me uncomfortable looking inside my shell of instability I'm cRaCkEd I speculate what I might lack Or that maybe it's what others lack?

instill

They try still to instill it into me As if they can pour what they wish of me Like an empty transparent glass on a dusty kitchen shelf I am already plenty full I say I want nothing of that vile liquid Or of your filthy smelling pills I am not ill No just not empty headed They won't listen Perhaps a fist would instill it?

desolation

My life My soul Desolated by the careless fools that rein This wicked destructive world My mind My heart Torn apart A state of ruin Far from the jubilating moments of my earlier youth The fetal position A familiar emotional position of mine I sit up terrified at night to ponder the chaos of mankind I close my eyes and watch powerless As the seams of virtues and morals unthread mercilessly The sense of order that use to run along side the dark liquid in our veins gone I guess we let them all seep out one by one with the blood we punctured out of our own warm winding veins So destructively So purposely Mankind cannot get much worse Don't press the big red button Ask questions first Push aside rejection Approval is optional Not deadly Or threateningly fearfully important How quaint their little busy lives are We are far from hopeless And stronger then we ever knew we could be before We are aching Shivering in pain Quivering in a rare rawness of naked beauty We are not like them We do not like them We still strive to be like them A can of Campbell soup Sold and made by the thousands Stamped proudly with a brand name logo Made up of all the same 'artificial and natural' ingredients The world is spinning faster then it did ten minutes before Gravity is a state of mind I allow myself to float away Anything but graceful But freedom heals me despite that As I break away Black against the evening sun I think I begin to believe I cannot be the only one who watches the world unthread But does not turn to death as a savior Fighting is one more breathe Fighting is flying instead of countless streaks of bleeding cuts I cannot be alone There are others battling their own demons screaming cries of war Like the few that fought then flew so freely So victorious before my own lone flight

latitude

latitude my kind of attitude not to be rude of course but I rather be crude then eluding or alluding

backtrack

Backtrack? I need a time machine for such to erase everything that I ever did wrong I can't simply backtrack

desperation

desperation a feeling a terrible terrible feeling desperate people do desperation things steal from me lie to me kill me then justify it desperate times call for desperate measures desperate people do desperate things does this really justify it?

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writing since 2014 · 27 entries · 22 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means Rebekah showed up.

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the words Rebekah reaches for

cannotdesperatewithholdleveragemindglassdancewonderingalonelovesoulgoldfishsmiledjoyfulemptybody