swifty84
I did what I could to fix the situation. I tried. And that is enough, as long as I keep going.
My life is rehearsed. I live it in my head and, most of the time, don't even go through the real life motions after I've played it out in my mind. I guess there is little difference between living something in your head and living it in real life. That is no way to live.
You showed up on my doorstep drunk at 2 A.M., saying I should let you in or you’d break in. Earlier that day, you came over to pick up something your mother mailed me. You went through my phone while I was in the bathroom and found the number of an intern that I work with. Before you showed up, you called him [a motherf*****] while he was on a family ski trip. And when I kicked you out, you refused to take a cab. You wanted to drive. You would risk killing for convenience. So I let you stay, just like you wanted. And when you woke up, you acted surprised that I was upset. I asked you to apologize to the intern, and you told me you shouldn’t have to, that I cared too much about what other people thought. And then you did it, just like I wanted.
When I retold the story, I forgot to be embarrassed. I forgot to make you sound better than you were that night. So, I said, “He’s only crazy when we break up. He’s crazy, because he’s in love.”
You showed up on my doorstep drunk at 2 A.M., saying I should let you in or you'd break in. Earlier that day, you came over to pick up something your mother mailed me. You went through my phone while I was in the bathroom and found the number of an intern that I work with. Before you showed up, you called him [a motherfucker] while he was on a family ski trip. And when I kicked you out, you refused to take a cab. You wanted to drive. You would risk killing for convenience. So I let you stay, just like you wanted. And when you woke up, you acted surprised that I was upset. I asked you to apologize to the intern, and you told me you shouldn't have to, that I cared too much about what other people thought. And then you did it, just like I wanted.
When I retold the story, I forgot to be embarrassed. I forgot to make you sound better than you were that night. So, I said, "He's only crazy when we break up. He's crazy, because he's in love."
Having multiple projects at once and doing them. Not overthinking them. Just doing them. And one of them has to work out, right?
Notice what shouldn't be. Notice what is supposed to be seen. Create what needs to be and congratulate the good that goes unnoticed.
It may seem old to some, or it may seem like a relic, like something that has lived or someone that has lived, and it is the remnants of the world on something that was once new.
writing since 2010 · 7 entries · 6 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means Swifty showed up.
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the words Swifty reaches for
breakinterncrazyworklivednoticedoorstepdrunkpickmothermailedphoneskitripkickedrefused