zoejo

zoejo

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size

Size. It matters. Sadly in society today outer beauty has become overpowered. The beautiful personalities of people have been lost by the weight they wear on their bones. And not the weight of their image of themselves inside.

I've got a camera in my mind, with an infinite memory card. Holding onto all the good and the bad.

I remember the summer nights. Staying up late, waiting. Hearing the growing rumble of your engine outside in the darkness. Then idling. Knowing that just a few hundred feet and a door kept me from you. And that soon we'd ride off together, into the night, where life was anything but fast asleep.

Your touch is electric, your kisses are fire. I'm drowning in a sea of desire. Bodies entangled, Heart beats racing. Sweat coating each other's skin.

Can I separate myself, from the person I was in summer, to the person that I am now? The two seem to vine together, over lapping and intervening. I can't seem to get go, to cast over board my summer self. The one who let loose, and laughed at caution. Where the word "no" was not in her vocabulary. Summer was a time of no regrets. Only moving forward, never looking back. Doing things that she only ever read about, and never imagined would happen to her. Now things have changed once more. Evolving back into a steady self. Trying to regain a foothold on morals and status quo. Trying to rein in the wild child, so I can blend in with society. Hoping that my bright coloring won't scare you away.

I've been hallowed out. Emptied to a bare naked shell. Nothing of me remains, or nothing of who I think I am. Who am I anyway? Who was I? Can't remember, can't recall. It's been so long. What am I? Who? Did I ever even change at all?

Have you ever wondered, how did religion even start? Who thought of such an absurd idea, and yet such a genius one. Able to control the masses with a single idea of a higher being, that if you do good in this life, you will continue to live on forever up in the clouds. However, if you disobey "his" law, you will be damned to life in hell. Yet, now, in today's world, there are so many hundreds of different religions. Who is to say that only one is the real one, the right one? Who is to say that any of it is true at all?

curse

This curse of comfort in our compatibility. When I have no where to turn I somehow find you. But you're not my answer, you're just a rest stop along the way there. Can't seem to let you go, But I can't stand to stay.

You were the little boy, a handsome man in bloom, a fallen angel. Your looks, deceiving. You were the little boy, who would set fire to the wings of butterflies, and watch they fly as they burned. Why? I whispered. Because. I wanted to know how something so beautiful could be so frail.

walls

These walls can not hold me. I've broken them down before. I am a force to be reckoned with, that I can assure.

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writing since 2011 · 81 entries · 81 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means zoe showed up.

6longest streak

81days written

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on this day 15 years ago

zoe wrote about abstract
“The people's views of each other, are so skewed by hate and prejudice. The world is tearing at it's worn out seams. Everyone bashes another, no hope in joining together to save the land …”

the words zoe reaches for

eyesopenskinwaitingsunslowlyhomehopingtryinguponheartdyingdeeplipslivenow