alifetime
She was the wall beside me,
around me,
everywhere I took myself to.
She became the pavement
my tears fell onto,
she was the drops of the fountain
that sprayed me.
She was and she
became everyone I talked to.
Soon, she was no more, but all I saw.
The ones that make your stomach hurt. It reaches your eyes and mine. It's dizzying how good it feels. You make ma forget everything whole. For a moment, we are whole. It comes in equal waves, these moments to match the bad. They are everywhere. Sometimes I lose sight of them, so you take my hand and guide me here. But I can't find you these days. So today, I'm reaching around, into the empty dark, the silence that has become all I hear. I wish you were here.
Today, my heart had wings for two seconds, and I had the faint feeling of may-be-we-could-be, this hopeful yet absolutely hopeless hope. I thought for 2 seconds about him. But I know I am the dull craters while he is the moon. I am nothing in comparison. And my heart became still again.
I look on,
ahead.
There's no gazing here.
No dreamy eyes or rueful wishing.
Everything is still.
Not glazed over or
romantic in any way.
They look at me funny as I stand there,
pretend dreaming,
walking past me
my past before me
and behind me
tearing into me
keeping me still and
staring.
rip my clothes off. drum down the walls off my soul. see right through me and you'll hate me.
it took my breath away. i waited the entire day, and now, here i was in this intricate little place where there seemed to be nothing to hold me down. i was being pulled in every direction/
and they were on their way
Its easy to believe in what they hold up
Easy to look up and smile
and scream at everything inside
the fire is wreching
and the days are raining
you're doing all these things to sell that you're alright. that you're okay. It seems that everybody can buy anything, cause no one stood there to read the small print, the small creases on your forehead, the small things thing son your face. so you may be a good salesman. but to me, your average. you're worse than average cause I saw right through you.
the concrete armor that floats around me every time I speak. but. I get too attached to all these people, and it still stands. how do you explain that, dearest wall that so typically prevents the heart from getting close?
logical processes through which we find the supposed solution we were doomed to find in the first place. and then there are those; the complex natured structures that we can never quite completely rap our heads around. how I wish, you would try to comprehend just may be a fraction of an inch of what was in mine.
load more entries
writing since 2011 · 100 entries · 89 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means Nightawait showed up.
4longest streak
89days written
0.3entries / week
the words Nightawait reaches for
eyesnowheartskyfarsmilelovemeanmindmattermomentwordgodlostnightmath