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Reliable. I do not know what that means. No one's ever been reliable in my life—I have been the one to do thing after thing. If I want something, I'm the one to do it. If I need something, I'm the one who furnishes it. There was nothing for me to do when my finger broke but do bind it myself. When the storms came and the hole in the roof started , Iwas the one to fix it. I've learned a lot over time, but now... now I have to be reliable for someone else. And I don't know how.

She couldn't stand it. The rage, the malice, was traveling up her arms and into the blood pooling around her heart. She drew it in, breathing, coalesced it into a ball, and flung it back at her offender, at this unseen entitiy that thought It could attack her, that thought It could ruin her life like this. No one would do that and get away with it. The blood, rushing through the air, formed into a bullet, and hit It in the side.

Hair undone... that's what she should look like all the time. He stared at her. It reached down to her knees. She was laughing, throwing a ball toward Ana, and—oh, by the spirits. She was looking at him now. "What are you doing here?" she asked, and then it was as if she realized who he was and who she was and the fact that her hair was down. She scrambled for a shawl to pull over her head. "I'm sorry—" he said, but he wasn't. He was watching her.

Controller... that's what he was. Someone who loved to take things and control them. He hated it. There was... there was... ugh. People who had known Marong Maruk in his youth would have soaid he could never pull a trick like tihs... But Anshong knew better. He stared at the words, so hard to decipher—the hits to his eyes had hurt, many times over the years. And there it was, written as clearly as he could tell: marry Ghiya.

Defined as love, love is love. Love is love is love is love. You make no sense. Was I supposed to? I didn't know I was supposed to make sense. I'll try to, from now on. If you want me to. I want you to. But you owe me one. Eesh! I don't owe you a thing. Shut up. Leave me alone. But I said, and I answered, and now I want something in return. Hmm. You don't deserve it. Let's define deserving something. Maybe a hit to the head? No, better than that.

You disappear even when I want you to stay, and that saddens me and it makes me want to throw things into the wall. I asked you to stay. You said you would .Then you disappeared, because you suck at keeping your promises. I knew that from the beginning, actually, but I figurde when you looked me in the eye you weren't lying to my face. I trusted you. You said you wouldn't go. But in the end I suppose snakes will be snakes, and you were a snake to the bone. You disappeared. You disappear even though you say you won't.

The revenue smied at him though I don't tihnk that revenues can actually smile. I'm actually trying to figure out the definition of this word before I go off into a spiel of something that isn't actually a revenue... and yeah, I can't think of it. It comes from the French re-venue... whech basically means 'to come again,' I'm guessing. A venue is a place you go that provides a service. And then a revenue I'm guessing would be somehting that... this makes no sense. what am I doing?

Sniper... it maes me think of Swiper, no swipinga nd of Dora the Explorer despite the fact that the two don't have much in common. But I think I've written about sniping before. It was Aegata who first drew my attention to it. She was pretty, not particularly, but enough so that you remembered her face, wihch was angular enough and sharp enough to make you realize hat this was a woman with sense.

In the trenches they breathe, and they breathe hard. Something whizzes and one inhales quickly. In fear. The fear is overpowering now, and the little demon cackles as it realizes that they have pissed their pants. In the trenches they breathe, and they breathe hard. It's whizzed, and it's gone, and now it's silent. They have only to wait... wait until the enemy realizes they're there. Or, at least that's how I feel about him looking at me.

Still exactly the same thing it was yesterday. It isn't easy. Words don't come easy... words don't come easy. To me. How can I find a way to make you see I love you? Words don't come easy. I love that song. it's such a catchy little song. Trying to write as quickly as possible but it's hard in a round chari when I feel like a Buddha and I have my elbows on my knees. It is quite sad. -_- Saaaaaaaad. So anyway. Stuff?

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writing since 2010 · 105 entries · 102 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means Maria showed up.

21longest streak

102days written

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on this day 13 years ago

Maria wrote about national
“National statistics for freezing in the meat locker of your own butcher's shop probably indicated one in a billion deaths. My mom always told me I was one in a billion. She told me billion because…”

the words Maria reaches for

eyesnowlookingheadfacesometimesfactbelieveroomstopslowlyyesbitsuretowardintent