angelduciel

angelduciel

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badge

You wear a badge But it is blank You don't know what you stand for So you fall for everything Including me, The one who smiles and laughs even though I'm storming and panicking diconnected wondering hoping you feel the same wonder where this will go You wear a badge of my name You pin it in your skin And leave the trail of blood out the door.

win

I cannot win It is torture to look at the person you love every day and realize they don't feel the same way about you. It's torture to touch someone who's empty and hollow. It's torture to be suffocating the only thing that allows you to breathe.

In a kingdom by the sea we used to Be Him and me Now the body of water only flows from my eyes down my nose My body’s way of trying to reunite with the sea And what my eyes Used to see No longer are we hand in hand lip to lip in the sand and what i no longer have to be

In a kingdom by the sea we used to Be Him and me Now the body of water flows from my eyes down my nose My body's way of trying to reunite with the sea

You changed I don't know you anymore And I don't care to know who you've become.

-Soundtrack of our live- Dreams have long passed And I wonder if you dream of me too. In the mist, we talk like we used to. Bold words - underlined But still a secret. Our own world That spins back into us.. Tangling us together. And we listened, to the soundtracks of your life, Of our short lives together. Taking in every breath And every moment. Living in it, In a golden carriage covered in pain, we found Our sanctuary. Laughing like we were children Running in the sun, uncaring of who sees. Capturing the moment, with smiles and shutters. Those were the melodies of our soundtrack, Finding refuge in each other, A comfort, no other heart could burn. And like a bird, you called to me. And listened to me sing back our song And let me fly, from your palm, above anything else, any care in the world. Until I melted and cried tears of joy. Now, with tears I write, that this birdie is gone And sing the song of goodbyes. I let you go, so you can be alive Because now, all my songs cut you deep. And our memories burn you, and silence any song That we ever sang together. Our soundtrack has faded into silence. And I fly above you now, too high for you to see. For you to hear me cry. And I await for a life, in which we are both birds. Crying the tears only a Sparrow can weave. Until you can fly with me, and we can sing again.

I imagine lines in a tree stump. Lines drawn to those lines One line drawn to the first circle- This is my rebirth. This is me holding my mother's hand crossing the parking lot. This is snacks in the afternoon, after school has exhausted me. This is sandwiches after swimming in the pool Lines drawn to the fifth, this is my realization that nothing is how I want it to be. This is me growing awkward with everything around me, nothing feels right to the touch. This line describes my blood and tears and worry and hate and anger. At this point the lines are scribbles, as if carved by a shaky hand. This is the eighth, this is regrets and hopelessness. It's abandonment and crushed hopes. And this line here, the one just made, is where I realize that there's no point in anything I try. This is me feeling distant from myself and the world. This is me knowing after this month I will have no goals in my life. Nothing to look forward to. The lines coming up will be out of shape and will no longer resemble a line and will be unbearable to watch. It will be hard to follow and read. The last line is too blurry. It resembles the edges of pages in a book that come to a close and you know that next time you read it, it will never be the same. Such is my timeline.

sweep

Are there even real pleasures in life? Life moves on whether you're happy or not. Carving its numbers and letters into your face with a careless notion. And as time progresses, every little edge gets darker, and darker,making up for the lost memories from the days when you were younger. Life means nothing when you cannot remember anything. Smiles never happened if you don't remember you took the effort to make them. The same with tears and friends and lovers. Time erodes the faces of man like cliffs and the seas Sweeping back and forth, back and forth in what seems Like a crawling, sweeping, etching motion; Craddling and whispering "Remember when?" Are there even real sorrows in life? Life moves on whether you're patheticly drowning or not, Just living day by day from one pleasure, or sorrow to another. And the words spoken and actioned played, stay all until your next move. But when you move on, the smiles, the laughs... They mean nothing when life moves on this quickly.

must

Haiku: I think we should run Away; Past the lights and Sounds We must not look back.

I'm glad I get to experience every day with him. Every second is a new life for me. I'm glad the light is being brought back in to my life. I feel like I'm falling alive.

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writing since 2012 · 75 entries · 58 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means AngelDuCiel showed up.

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on this day 14 years ago

AngelDuCiel wrote about arts
“The arts, its something we should all appreciate. You can find beauty in anything,, really. Sometimes you just need to take a step back. Or get to know a piece real well in order to fully understa…”

the words AngelDuCiel reaches for

lovenowpatienthappyhe'lleyesdreamrealpastmentionhandlatememorieslinesmindlive