aranoe
There was none. He tried everything, so he just stuck with the longest one. As in the longest one that'll take forever until he'll find his own happiness. he was pursuing it because he had the right to, and it's the longest journey he's taking.
She never text back.
she's probably busy.
I'm not. I should make myself busy. And maybe when I'm done learning another jazz standard she'll reply.
She didn't reply.
Maybe she'll say good morning to me.
Maybe not.
I'll say good morning to her then.
If it doesn't bother her.
i had a chance to go to a better place. better than where i'm going right now. it's better because she's over there. and right now thinking about a year without her, i could feel the withdrawal symptoms happening already to my body. it's hard for me to sleep. and when i wake up, i realize that nothing has changed, i'm still going to the same place. i feel like stone, stuck in place, nowhere to go. but if i try i could just roll away from here within a year.
It was full. full of books. that small black cabinet that held it self with all the books inside it. from buck to zinsser, from non fiction to fiction, from a love story to a classic, the black cabinet held a universe of universes of what authors wrote. it was like the 11th dimension all contained in a cabinet.
they looked at him. he didn't know what to do. he just did his thing. he became someone else. someone they never judged. he changed accents, he changed feelings, he changed actions. he was a funny guy that made everyone laugh, but everyone soon to forget him after everyone went to their old hierarchical ways.
listen. listen to me. just listen. it's either going to help you, or it'll help you now, or it'll never help you. just listen to me, and when you've listened, carry it with you. you'll never know if you'll experience what i've just said, cause there's a difference between what i've told you and experiencing what i've told you.
can i have some? do you have piece? i know you have some,
no.no. and fuck you, no because you're a douche.
you ask for something from a stranger, sure you said i'm being rude. but i'm not going to give away something sweet that i only bought for me and my friends. you're not even my friend. so no,
but i always chew one, and i always offer her a piece. she takes it. it's the only thing i ever offer her that she'll take. it's such bitter sweetness that is as short as the flavor of a gum when ever i offer it to her.
I have to let go. I have to wait at a far away place. only a hundred miles away from her. a long distance that feels longer than the entire universe. and i have to let this happen for a long year. a year that'll feel longer than eternity. but i just need to remember to let her go. to not let her feel bound to a chain with me. but an invisible bond like a red string that connects us. i'll hold on to these memories, and i'll make more when i'm with you again.
it lit up, and it sparked a million sparks. dancing all around with it's arms in a bright orange flurry. it's flowing from his and her hands and it was felt in his head. and when it reached his heart the fuse let out the biggest explosion inside of him that nothing that the universe ever heard or ever contained. and it was only silent.
it looked good. it tasted good. all the swirls and the hills and tops like a van gogh painting, he followed the movements with his finger, scooping up the icing, he could feel the coldness on his fingers and he could taste the sweetness in his mouth.
writing since 2012 · 11 entries · 11 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means a showed up.
8longest streak
11days written
0.8entries / week
the words a reaches for
listenchangedfollowfalluniverseoffershe'llhelpnowcabinetbetterlongestbreathewhateversweetnessinside