Byakuao
"See that large, red goldfish? I'm gonna catch it for you, just watch!" He furrowed his brows in concentration and held out the rod, looking more determined than he'd ever seen him be. He let the line sink into the small pool, and tried guiding it towards the fish he was trying to capture. They were at a festival, and this was one of the small activities one could do. Apparently, no one had caught a fish yet, and of course, he just couldn't say no to a challenge. But soon his patience wore off, and his grip on the rod slackened, and the red fish darted away quickly in the water, all his hard work, gone.
The doorbell rang at an ungodly hour during the night, and he'd only been asleep for less than an hour before the loud, buzzing sound woke him up. With a soft sigh, he pulled himself out of bed, and walked slowly to the front door, yawning while trying to flatten his hair into something presentable (which was pointless considering that a) his bedhair was always horrible and b) he'd be going back to sleep very, very soon anyway). Opening the door, he found himself face to face with a tall... tired looking man.
Looking at him with a bleary, slightly annoyed gaze, he asked, in the most polite way he could, "Is there something you need?"
(actually wrote waaaaay more, too long to put here)
There were rumours that a rare, mysterious creature inhabited the water in this region. The lucky ones who had managed to glimpse the creature said that it had the upper body of a human, and a lower body of a fish. And when he heard, he was intrigued.
He'd always known that he was cunning. Although a passerby would say, that he looked like an angel: innocent and kind (if they even managed to notice him in the first place).
(no inspiration to continue...)
The framework is the most important part of a building. If it's not constructed properly, obviously, the entire building will just collapse. It's similar in friendships, and relationships of any kind. One cannot rush into it, one needs to build a framework, may it be something like trust or honesty. Because if you don't have that support as you progress and build your relationship together, one day, it might just break apart without warning, and it will leave you wondering where you went wrong, when all you had to do was go to the very start and search for it.
He disliked not knowing. Not knowing what terrible things could happen to him, not knowing what surprises would await him... it scared him to no end. And that was why he tried his best, to understand everything, to understand why certain events occurred at certain times. He researched it for his whole life, trying to uncover his own private mystery of his reality, but he discovered nothing. And it was only at the end of his long, long journey, when he was in old age, and could not walk without the help of his walking stick, that he realized, it was serendipity, unpredictability, coincidence... that made life as beautiful as it was.
That was the one thing he hated most in the world. It brought upon waves and waves of all sorts of negative, depression-inducing feelings; regret, guilt, frustration, sadness... Because, if he is sucked into that world of /him/, he won't be able to get out for a long, long time. Thinking about how things could have been if he hadn't done this, hadn't done that, how much he could have hurt /him/, and himself, less... It made him want to punish himself, want to hurt himself even more, because he'd been such an ignorant, self absorbed, lazy asshole.
It was a long, long road that stretched on endlessly. And he had to walk it. Without stopping, without resting. And that's what broke him. He couldn't do it. He couldn't reach the end of that road. And as a result, he fell apart. He sunk into himself, like a heavy rock thrown into the ocean. Down, down, down. He couldn't ever return to the surface again.
He stood at the door of the white, bare door, staring at the metal plate with his lover's name written on the front. With a shaking hand, he grabbed the cold handle of the door. It's alright, he told himself. It was just a car crash. Nothing will be injured permanently. With that thought in mind, he opened the door slowly, and prepared himself.
He was lying on the bed, in a horrible state; his usually tan skin was looking oddly pale, and his midnight eyes were staring at the ceiling blankly. They moved lazily to stare at him, as he walked in.
"Hey--" He began, walking slowly towards the bed.
"Who... who are you...?" The figure lying down replied.
His heart almost stopped. "I... I'm your boyfriend. You do remember, don't you..?"
The other showed no response. "Sorry man, I've never seen you before in my life. You've got the wrong guy."
And that was the moment, that he realized, his world was just beginning to fall apart.
The once white, smooth walls of the outside of the house were now rough, and the paint was slowly peeling down. As a strong wind blew, small flakes of white scattered through the air around the building. He didn't now what to feel about the state of the place, that he, they, once shared their precious and bittersweet young adult years. It was amusing; the outside of the house was slowly weathering, just like how their relationship slowly weathered in the long, unforgettable summer of that year.
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writing since 2014 · 18 entries · 18 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means Lin showed up.
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18days written
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the words Lin reaches for
himselfdoorslowlyeyesfaceapartlookingfishsmilebluehurthandgroundhousefellwalk