clachman

clachman

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I taught myself algebra. I got sick with pnemonia when I was in high school and the hardest part was getting behind in algebra. She knew that algebra was the key to unlocking the note. She quickly scanned it over before letting her friend look at it. They didn't know what to do. Perhaps there really was a treasure.

I imagined that the world was a different place and all was good. It was beautiful. But it was just something I imagined and not real. So i was sad. But I can still live in that place in my head. Even though it's not real.

The spikes jetted out of my ice shoes. I was about to embark in an adventure that would possibly risk my life. I opened the door and a gust of wind and cold and snow flew at me. It stun my cheeks and froze the inside of my nose. I would begin.

It is glowing the fire fly in my back yard. I had never seen one before and now here were hundreds, flitting around lighting up the night. It was dark outside and you could see the stars. The sky ablaze with them.

I was just brushed aside when I told someone what I was really feeling. I don't think they meant this, but that is how I felt. Perhaps i should try telling them again. Or maybe it is just in my head that I was brushed aside. Maybe they really did take it seriously and I just perceive it differently. I don't know.

Charity is someone I know. I seem to have lost touch with her and I don't know how she is now. We havent' talked in a while even though we used to almost daily. It scares me that I have kind of forgot about her and know her name better than I am able to place her in my head. So Charity if you are out there, I say hi, and maybe we can get together and talk some more and I can get to know you again. I would like that.

I have this sinking feeling that it's all going to end badly. It is like a premonition and the way things are going I know that it's going to come true. Everything is awful. Nothing is right, why don't I just kill myself. It is the only way out from this stinking life. How to make it better? I don't know.

gust

There was a gust of wind that swept by the house blowing all of the dust bunnies up into the air. I wanted it to take me with it. The way it took the thistles for a ride on its gentle wings. I was scared and i didn't feel solid at all. Like the wind could just blow me away and that would be okay with me.

The radius was all I needed to see. It was our secret term for the gun. Once I saw the radius, I knew my life was in danger. She had turned on me and I was headed for the end. It was moments before I would see black.

I am nobody. Sometimes that is how I feel. Like there is nobody inside of me, when really there is plenty inside of me. But sometimes I'm empty. Everyone inside scurries away and then nobody is home. That is an odd feeling. a feeling of vacancy. Of emptiness.

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writing since 2014 · 64 entries · 55 days shown up

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on this day 12 years ago

Crystal wrote about spikes
“The spikes jetted out of my ice shoes. I was about to embark in an adventure that would possibly risk my life. I opened the door and a gust of wind and cold and snow flew at me. It stun my cheeks and…”

the words Crystal reaches for

wordsupportfeelingstrikenowstoodheadsafewritehomesatbetterhardtiredalonemean