clementine713
"No."
"What?"
"I said no."
"Why not?"
"I don't like you hanging out with them. I will not sit here and worry about you while you go out and enjoy yourself on god knows what those people hand out."
"I told you, it's just the girls. We're staying in, watching a movie. You have nothing to worry about."
"I always worry. I worry when you don't call me when you get there, I worry when you don't answer my texts, I worry."
"I understand that you care, and I care for you too, but I have a life, ya know?"
"It's not that I don't trust you, its the others. You don't know how they look at you, you don't know what they'd do if they get you alone. It's terrifying out there, and I am going to protect you from it."
"You don't have to stress, I'm a grown up. I'm more than capable of handling myself."
"No you're not. You don't know whats best for you. I do."
"I trust my friends, I'd know what they were up to if it were anything more than a night in."
"You don't know that, and you certainly will not find out."
"Who do you think you are?"
"I think I know what I'm talking about. Listen, I'm doing this for you and you're going to thank me later. Who knows what they're going to do, what guy will come onto you. I will not let you go out there and be in that position."
"I already told you- there will be no guys. Just girls. Nothing to worry about. Why are you freaking out about this?"
"As long as I'm around, you will never question me. I know whats best, you don't. I am telling you for the last god damn time, you are staying in tonight."
"But-"
"Go get changed and take off your makeup, you look cheap. I expect you back down here in no more than five minutes."
And just like that, I spent a night in with my boyfriend. Again.
"OMG THIS IS SOO TABOO" Kristi shouts. I groan, mentally smacking myself in the head for getting my best friend the 'new word a day' calendar. I'm glad that she's using it, but she gets quite....enthusiastic about her new words.
I shush her as we climb over the fence, leaving the safety of our heavily protected world, and enter a new adventure. One that may not be promising our return.
This used to be my goal;to simplify my life. To keep to my circle, try to expel and avoid rumors about me, and keep my relationship with Damon strong. And for a while, it was a great plan.
Until the accident.
The music was loud, girls flirting with guys, and beer. Everywhere.
I turned to whisper a snide insult about Gianna, the school slut and my archnemesis, who was cornering every guy she could find to April, but she wasn't there.
I scanned the room, trying to see if she had gone after Mark, her longtime boyfriend. But I couldn't find her. Or him. Which, due to Mark's abusive background, make me very nervous. Whipping my head side to side, intent on finding April, I see Luke coming over to me, obviously worried. I only have to say 'April is missing and I have no idea where Mark went' to let him know how serious this situation was.
Even Luke, Mark's best friend, knew how Mark got, and how naive April is for going out with him. I grabbed Luke's hand and ran through the crowd. She had to be here somewhere. People always seem to get in your way when you really need to get to someplace. People shoving their way in between our path, whistling and giving sexual comments on what they thought we were rushing to do. But no. We were looking for a seventeen year old girl who literally dressed up as generic as can be for a party. With a white tank top, blue jean short shorts and a long blonde ponytail, I could end up searching for her all night, assuming she was still at the party.
My thoughts wander to Mark, and how if he touches a finger on April I will personally hurt him. WIth the football and basketball teams by my side, of course. I feel like my mother saying this, but I told her so. I told her that Mark was trouble, and his past was enough to prove it, but no. She HAD to.
"Juliette!" I snap around and see Luke calling to me. I had been so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't realized that Luke had lost me in the crowd.
I get distracted for a moment, watching Luke push past other people to get to me. His light brown hair, matching mine, and how his blue eyes look great with his light blue tee shirt and his tan khakis. Being me, I have had a lot of guys come up and ask me out, some models, like myself. But there is something different with Luke. It's...magical.
"Juliette, you need to slow down and explain to me the last time you saw April and Mark. If they had any fights or she was acting differently for the past few days." Luke's face is dead serious, so much different than his usual 'casual yet happy' face that is super adorable.
I take a deep breath and retrace my steps. April, Victoria, Sierra, Katie and I entered Amber's house at around 10:30, so maybe half an hour ago. The wannabees, or as we call them the Bees, lushed about my blue shorts and how well they went with my eyes, a perfect match. That's what I'm known for. My eyes are icy blue, and when I'm mad, I've been told deadly. I answered Amber's text, replying that we are here, thus the party arriving, and she met us in the living room. The girls and I ditch the Bees, and Victoria, Sierra and Katie go outside to the pool, where April and I promise to meet them soon. We had just walked into the den, when everything began to go sour.
Luke nods while I describe the scene, taking in every detail he can. We both agree to split up and search the house,meeting in the kitchen in 15 minutes. I go to outside, where I spot Victoria, Sierra and Katie laughing in a group. They all notice me and wave me over, and their laughing ceases and they peel away from the group, noticing my expression. I explain the situation, and everyone is shocked. I justify my reasoning that Mark has something to do with April's disappearance, and Sierra's face turns stone cold.
"Well, that is a good theory, but it's not possible." Sierra says, "I say it's not possible because....I was with Mark from after we got outside to right now." As this news sinks in, we all aren't focusing on why Sierra was with Mark.
If Sierra was with Mark for this long,then who took April?
[A.M. 2013]
It was some sort of…epidemic. A plague, even. It was like everyone was falling in love. Everyone. With anything or anyone. It was bizarre.
My sister fell in love with her computer, my mom with her mirror, my baby brother with his stupid light up toy. Everyone was falling in love.
But me.
This foreign feeling never hit me, it never looked my way. It felt like it hadn’t even thought of me as a target.
And it was a blessing and a curse.
I saw how delusional love can make you, but that meant that everyone around me became delusional. You get it, right? I mean, obviously you aren’t infected with this. If you were in love, then you wouldn’t have the time of day to read this. Unless you are in love with books, but I haven’t heard about that yet.
But we obviously aren’t infected. We both aren’t in love. So you’re just like me. I have always wanted to meet someone like me.
And you, you are taking the time to read this, and take in all of my emotions. You, who has listened to me and acknowledged that we are two peas in a pod. You, who relate, and you don’t think of me as crazy to not be in love. You know I am perfectly sane to not want to be in love.
You understand me. And I am so thankful for you. And I feel like we have this bond, and that we are…meant to be together.
I mean, this is just a friendship, right? [A.M. 2013] All friendships have to have a common bond, or else they don’t work. But I have plenty of friends, a best friend even. This doesn’t feel how my other friendships do. This is something more.
As this unravels, as this story takes a turn, I’ve discovered something entirely different, a plot twist I never would have seen coming.
I fell in love.
With you.
Thank you.
[A.M. 2013]
It was some sort of...epidemic. A plague, even. It was like everyone was falling in love. Everyone. With anything or anyone. It was bizarre.
My sister fell in love with her computer, my mom with her mirror, my baby brother with his stupid light up toy. Everyone was falling in love.
But me.
This foreign feeling never hit me, it never looked my way. It felt like it hadn't even thought of me as a target.
And it was a blessing and a curse.
I saw how delusional love can make you, but that meant that everyone around me became delusional. You get it, right? I mean, obviously you aren't infected with this. If you were in love, then you wouldn't have the time of day to read this. Unless you are in love with books, but I haven't heard about that yet.
But we obviously aren't infected. We both aren't in love. So you're just like me. I have always wanted to meet someone like me.
And you, you are taking the time to read this, and take in all of my emotions. You, who has listened to me and acknowledged that we are two peas in a pod. You, who relate, and you don't think of me as crazy to not be in love. You know I am perfectly sane to not want to be in love.
You understand me. And I am so thankful for you. And I feel like we have this bond, and that we are...meant to be together.
I mean, this is just a friendship, right? All friendships have to have a common bond, or else they don't work. But I have plenty of friends, a best friend even. This doesn't feel how my other friendships do. This is something more.
As this unravels, as this story takes a turn, I've discovered something entirely different, a plot twist I never would have seen coming.
I fell in love.
With you.
Thank you.
The way his body moved, the way his soul was put into every shift, every spin, every count, was breathtaking. I was head over heels in love with someone who was out of my league, but had danced into my heart the second I saw him move. I couldn't stop thinking about him, how his grace and his charm had won me over once again. How I couldn't believe that he was giving me a second chance after what had happened. How I was going to take a leap of faith, in all hopes he would catch me. How I was dancing, alongside him, something that I thought impossible. How I could be incredibly stupid, putting my heart back into his hands again. How I hoped he wouldn't break it.
I had a certain calling to him as he walked on the outskirts of the party. He had a cool, confident vibe but you could tell that he would be a great person to support you. He looked over and caught my eye. And something, weird, happened. His reaction was not of horror, not a oh-lets-become-friends look. It was a you-shouldn't-be-alive look. And I am terrified.
I had a massive heartache thinking about my friends, family and even Wayne back home. I know that running away was a rash decision, but I couldn't take it. My house was a prison in disguise. It was horrible. Wayne offered to take me in, but I knew that his parents would tell my parents ASAP. I can't take that risk. I don't need to give my brother another reason to smoke more. Does this give him more of a reason? Am I emotionally killing my brother and best guy friend? I should've told Kyle. My brother, just dying. My mom "Kyle! Get down from your room. She's gone. Okay? She's gone. Face it. She's not coming back." would be saying that now, and Kyle refusing, because he knew, even if I didn't tell him, why I left. Because of my mother. She couldn't care less. Just like when Dad left. She didn't process it. She thinks that she's still right, when we all know who was right during the Big Fight. The fight that drove my father out of the house. Was this just deja-vu to her? She's probably thinking I can't last a day out here, but she doesn't know that on our five month family trips to California, I made friends that I would tell I was probably going to run away, and they would greatly take me under their roof. I have better friends than my mom. I have to go. Standing outside our neighborhood is as risky as this can get. California isn't that far away, but I would need money. Oh gosh, where did Dad said he lived? I think it was right near here, but close to California. I should stay with him. He was the sensible one. He was my favorite. Never yelled, nor beat me like my mom. He was the one who would save me. Take me bowling the second I got out of school and we stayed out all day. When we came home he would make sure Mom was asleep before we came in so she wouldn't yell at me. He got yelled at when he tried to sneak into their bed though. I could hear them every night. He wanted to take me in when he left, but Mom had such a tough grip on me that it gave me a bruise, and her nails cut into me that made a scar that still is here today. Off to Dad's I go.
I didn't have a clue what he said. Then I replayed his message. I got it. He was saying it's not safe for us to be talking but we need to communicate to stay alive in what has now become of North America. Even if it means death at any moment.
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writing since 2011 · 25 entries · 21 days shown up
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