gargouillis
She walks quietly over the blue
and deep ocean; she stands with her
pale hands laying in her sad lap
on a small and fragile bridge:
the blood-ish sky mingles with
the dark water and everything
seems so futile and little and useless.
She doesn't dare even taking a breath:
those clouds could rolling down into
her weak mind: she could not resist.
So she looks at the horizon with
teary eyes - wondering about
something better - something brighter.
I was thinking about all the
pretty things - and the sad
ones too - people has taught
me during these twenty and
an half years; I've learned
when tears should flush over
my cheeks and when smiles
should be painted on my lips;
I've became were of the futility
of life and the greatness of being
on this world; I've been taught
with books full of ancient words
and brave cold-hearted heroes.
But there is one thing I still am not
able to do - and probably it's the
silliest of all; there is one thing no
one has ever explained me.
How could I forget someone?
How could I erase him from my memory?
Does somebody know how to do it?
I'm lying on the bed,
among quilted pillow
and warm sheets,
thinking about you
and what could have been:
if only I was not so keen
on my emotions,
If only you were not
so damn stubborn.
We could have everything
and anything at the same
right time.
I'm lying here, on these
empty mattress, whispering
softly inside my own dreams.
I haven't forgotten you
and while the moon rises
shining pale over the leaves,
here I rest in a pensive mood,
struggling in this summer solitude.
I perceive myself as a frazzled
limb without end or begin; I
start under the moonlight in the
cold and fresh summer breeze;
but I'm here, struggling my mind
with uncounscios melancholia:
I steel feel for you.
Close the door behind your shoulder, darling,
I do not want to see my naked dreams
bleeding and aching around my pale wrists.
I can not help my mind to stop
weeping loudly in these empty walls
- laments and murmurous echoing.
Everything seems too huge, too untouchable,
even for the shaking fingers of the imagination:
I wish I had your breath beside me - all around me;
your lovely words against the cold skin of my strained cheek;
your hands firmly caressing my scars,
pulling out the dagger from my pounding chest.
But they
are here, instead of you,
and they scream and they shout and they are afraid.
'The first cut is the deepest'
the last memory is the sweetest,
the nightingale sings.
(I am afraid
too.)
Counted.
My words are counted
beneath my tongue
and my fingers brush
quietly and slowly their edges.
Someone finds me
my words -
because I'm stammering
and I've lost the meaning of things.
My words
are not
mine
anymore.
Drawing in this glass of bourbon:
only this one, promise.
Tomorrow is going to be a new day.
a new chance; unique opportunity -
tomorrow for sure
but not tonight.
I need something strong among these pale stars.
Something heartless;
I have to forget everything.
"Pour me another one,
please,
you're a good man."
I see you rolling, waving
and passing through the seasons
with a delightful melancholic smile
quickly painted on those red lips.
I would be able to look at you for hours:
you are blind,
your heart does not beat furiously;
you are so extremely calm,
you are floating among silver clouds.
The rush of the world,
the emotions of life,
doesn't take you breath away?
I am freezing, out here;
I can barely feel my limbs
badly shivering,
trembling,
cracking
among this white, soft snow;
the field is pure and spotless:
no life
- Am I still dreaming? -
Everything is cold and empty;
there is nothing
even beyond my green eyes.
Only silence and astonishment.
Tracking lovely men and strong women;
bombs flying like golden butterflies
through the clouds, through our collapsed breaths:
an empty sky over us.
Where are you?
I can't see anything;
are you beside me, darling?
My eyes are full of ash and dust,
my teeth chew prayers and invectives.
Where are you?
Please, don't leave me.
Why us?
Are we different from the other men and women
just because we love someone else?
Stay with me, darling.
Stay with me.
Stay.
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