gypsygirl
She felt like the depression was fencing her in. "All these fencing...keeping me from actually leaving the yard." She thought.
She knew what was hidden in the trunk. "Drive faster, Bitch" He ordered as he shoved the gun harder against her side. She was shaking. If only she had stayed home tonight.
She looked at him. Was he stupid? Why didn't he respond. He just looked at her and grinned, pulled out a notebook and pen, and simply wrote: I can't hear you. Her face turned red. She felt instantaneously horrible. Of course. He was deaf. That's why he didn't hear her when she told him to move. She now regretted running up behind him and rudely tapping him on the shoulder...well...it was more than a tap...
How could she tell her family? She had been a pianist since she was 9. Her family was counting on her going to a top music university as a classical pianist. How was she going to tell them she was a drummer in a garage band? What were they going to say? She knew she had to tell them. She couldn't pretend to love the piano anymore. She had to take off the mask of happiness she wore. She had to tell them...
She couldn't take this. She put her mask on everyday and forced herself to smile. To show that she was alright, but she really wasn't. The kemo was slowly killing her. Forget the cancer... the kemo was going to do it to her. She would rather die happy then ill from all of the medication to treat something she knew was incurable. She knew the doctors had only given her a 20% chance of surviving this. She was taking the mask off. She was going to make herself happy for once
She looked in the mirror. "What are people talking about? I don't have a problem. So what if I want to be thinner. Nothing wrong with that." She had heard the rumors. People saying she looked like a skeleton. Saying she had an eating disorder. She just wanted to be thinner. She had been 'the fat girl' her whole life. She didn't want to be that girl any longer. So what if she didn't eat as much? Or...at all. She was fine. Let people talk. She was happy...at least that's what the mask she wore portrayed.
She was so excited. She had the tickets in her hand. She knew he would love it. Love HER for it. She had saved for months just to get these two front row tickets to his favorite band. She knocked on the door. "Hello?" said the stick thin blonde who answered the door. She couldn't speak. She knew who this was. She knew what had happened. He had cheated...again. She threw the tickets at the door. "Tell him we're done and p.s he's a cheater, honey. You better run". She turned and left. Plastering on her mask of happiness. He wouldn't get the satisfaction of seeing her cry. No way in Hell!
She knew people would stare. They should. That horrible cage they called a "school". All they did was tease her. Stare and make fun of her. She finally gave them a reason to stare at something other than the scar that crossed her face. Stretching from her eyebrow down to the corner of her lip. It's not like she asked for the hideous reminder of her fathers drunken rage. So she made a change. A drastic change to distract from her scar. She dyed her hair violet. Her whole head. Let them stare. She didn't want to hide behind a mask anymore. She had finally taken the mask of happiness off and revealed the true her. The genuinely happy her.
She knew he was violent. She knew the risk, but she couldn't help it. She loved him. Everyone had warned her and she kept telling herself that he would keep his promise. He would never hit her again. "I deserved it" she would tell herself. "I shouldn't have said that". Deep down she knew she hadn't done anything, that this was all him. She just loved him to much. God only knew why. She was trapped. If she left she would have a broken heart, but if she stayed...who knew what could happen. So she stayed. She stayed and covered the bruises and scars with makeup, plastered her mask of happiness on, and faced her day.
She picked the megaphone up, took a deep breath, and shouted; "LETS GO TIGERS, LETS GO." She could see the crowd getting pumped up...why couldn't she? She just couldn't seem to be genuinely happy anymore. It was all faked. All a mask of happiness. No one seemed to understand, Hell she didn't even understand it. Something had to change...
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