humanly
I hop gleefully out of the shower after my long 5-hour session of washing out the floor wax from my hair, and calming down the bruises on the back of my thigh. My roommate stares at me with disdain.
"Friends don't do these things to each other. They aren't your sisters."
"We were just having fun! Stop being such a killjoy, you just don't understand."
It's easy to get caught up in checklists and planners, to seem great on the resumé, to have your achievements seen. But looking back, did you really have fun doing them?????????
She reaches out towards my direction. As always.
"I've been on this bed for so long. Nothing has been working. Please do it. Please."
Her hands always do that when she needs me to do something for her, and so I automatically walk to her with a cup of water. But this time, it's clear that wasn't what she wanted.
Slowly, I hand her the water making sure her frail hands have a firm grip on it before I let go. She sips the water and carefully places the cup on the side table. She sighs as her eyes look at me decidedly, then reaches out again.
"Please."
Avoiding her gaze, I pretend to not comprehend what she's trying to tell me, but we both know that I understand. She has been bringing up the topic for months, but only now has she actually requested it. Her gaunt hand stretches even more toward me. And so I close my eyes, nod, and follow. As always.
I've followed the yellow brick road for so long. It has brought me many achievements, many results – yet I find none fulfilling. Could it be? This path I am on is not right for me?
There he is. Waving at me.
"Hello!" I say. He nods and smiles.
I have been waiting for this moment for months. Assiduous preparation was put into making sure I was ready.
This is it.
I got this.
The flashing lights, the cheering audience – I guess these are the things that add to the experience. But nothing beats my love for the artists. In 8th Grade, I first heard this song "The Rain" on a random playlist on 8tracks and it stood out. It was atmospheric and chill, without compromising the quality of the lyrics. I looked the artist up. And that's how I discovered Oh Wonder. I'll readily admit that they are not my favorite musicians, but when I found out that they were performing where I live, I simply would not pass up the opportunity. And so, I went to my first concert. I expected myself to leave unimpressed, and oh was I wrong. Oh Wonder completely blew me away. You could feel the heart that goes into every song as they performed as though each word represents a part of their lives, and we as an audience are vicariously transported into their world in their perspective.
so yeah the concert was ayt
I keep myself busy with work and school requirements, yet sometimes I would go out in the balcony and just stare at the outside world.
(shit post but watevr)
"You went with Tori? Huh? So are you just gonna leave me now? You found someone new?"
I blankly stared at her. I didn't know where she was coming from.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I really don't. Please. Don't do this." But my constant mutterings are of no use. It's not like my reasons, no matter the veracity, helped me the first time. Nor the second. Nor the third. Now all rationality has escaped me. I was knocked out vacant.
It's okay. It's just a bruise.
If only there was a forklift that would assist me in lifting all these responsibilities I carry on my shoulder.
I took the regular route today. Got the usual groceries. Said hello to the same people. Visited the familiar bakery making the freshest pastries. But today, somehow, I decided to skip my usual doughnut for a baguette. I guess I'm just feeling pretty risky today.
Hmm...
Maybe I should tell him that I like him too.
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writing since 2017 · 14 entries · 12 days shown up
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