lailalcr

lailalcr

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"Choose your weapon." I think.....well, wet noodles are unweildy and I don't really want to pick anything that will actually hurt somebody. I know! A water squirter! Like you use for cats. "Ffft Fffft, be nice!" "Ffft-Ffft, too rude!" That will work.

Speech class was the one that terrified me. I hyperventilated every time I stood up there with my carefully crafted words on oversized index cards. I just could not do it. Until one desperate speech group came up with a plan. They sat all the way across the back of the room, behind the teacher, miming me breathing slowly "in" and "out." The "out" being the part I had been missing. Of course, if I didn't pass, neither did they, so they had to do something.

How good a politician would I be? I like to think I would be lousy at it. It doesn’t seem noble or complimentary. But I bet I am wrong. I bet would be pretty good. I just couldn’t do it day in and day out. Eventually, I would just throw up my hands, yell, “Whatever!” and move on to something less frustrating. Like my current job....oh, wait a minute.....

How good a politician would I be? I like to think I would be lousy at it. It doesn't seem noble or complimentary. But I bet I am wrong. I bet would be pretty good. I just couldn't do it day in and day out. Eventually, I would just throw up my hands, yell, "Whatever!" and move on to something less frustrating.

The promise of this day is not what I had hoped or expected. Still, it's a good day. I am whole and happier than I planned to be. There is more wealth and richness than I looked forward to finding.

A barrel of wine sat in the corner of the cellar. It had been forgotten for so long that it despaired of ever being anything more than vinegar. Even that fate seemed unlikely. A disappointed vintage from a sad year on a dismal acre of land.

now

Now, the air is warm inside and cold out. The trees are still twinkling one day later. The cats are doing their best to obstruct any clear view of the tv. The dog is pacing around the table, hoping a cookie falls off, all on its own. My husband and godson are occupied with screens of their own for the moment. And Harry Potter 7 is on the agenda for the rest of the evening.

sate

Can we sate the desire to know what will happen by focusing on what is happening. I hope so. If the present moment is not enough to soothe this anxious desire to foreknow, then I am done. So I notice the warmth of my socks, the sigh of my dog, the peaceful snore of a napping husband whose foot is on mine.

July

I just read an e-mail that reference July and I cannot even imagine why. It's December and I am totally doused in Christmas-icity. July isn't even imagineable or for that matter interesting.

both

Both of us wandered through the gate and out of the backyard. He stayed a little behind, sniffing daisies along the sidewalk. I slapped the soles of my trainers against the concrete and breathed in through my nose out through my mouth. He yipped and sniffed and snorted.

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writing since 2012 · 32 entries · 30 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means LailaLCR showed up.

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on this day 14 years ago

LailaLCR wrote about begin
“at the beginning, where most things start unless the universe seems circular to you in which case....well, forget it. Re-imagine time and make a necklace, a band of gold, a ribbon with no frayed ends…”

the words LailaLCR reaches for

hairwondermindinsidesomebodylovebetuniverseimaginesomewheredeephusbandcoldwaterforwardmoment