michelleg
Deer.
What gets in your way of getting to your destination. Like an obstacle that you have to go around to get your your goal. And sometimes, it steers you off to the edge, making you late or never getting to your goal.
Succeed.
I hope to succeed in getting straight A's this year and for the rest of high school. So I can finally fucking drive. Like, seriously. I just want to drive when I have problems or maybe just go get some damn groceries so my mom isn't there nagging me about everything AT A GROCERY STORE. But yeah. I want to drive.
I lay in bed. Listening to this song on repeat. And as that song flows through my head, I think of everything. I make up scenarios of events that I wish could happen. I think of things about that day. What was happening that day, what I should have done differently, what I should have said differently. I don't know. But right then, I can't sleep. Just like the other nights that follow.
Repeat.
Can you say that again? Can he? I don't know what's happening. I don't know what's going on in our world. Repeat. Can I got back and play back this whole moment? Can I go back to the start of that kiss? Can I?
No.
I just want you near, close to me, by my side. I just want you. Only you. But I don't even know if you think of my in that way. I don't know how you could. I'm a horrible person. I've done terrible things. I'm sorry.
Discovery.
The channel that has documentaries and things that would usually bore someone. I find it quite interesting. Especially Shark Week, but that was last week...or something like that...
Are there ever any answers to my questions? Good answers? Is there even answers to the questions I'm asking now?
What ever happened?
Stretched to it's beyond and then POP! It breaks.
That's what it's like for me. I bottle my emotions in and I don't let it out until finally, that one minuscule thing just breaks me apart piece by piece.
Driving.
I'm not that age yet. I hope this year I get straight A's so I can go to driver's ed. Ugh, fuck. I seriously want to get my license already. I just want to drive around town, listen to music, sing my heart out, with my friend in the passenger seat. That's what I want to do.
Brick.
Something hard, something red or orange or brown. Something you throw at people when you're furious with them. But then you feel bad afterwards because you hurt them. At least, I would feel bad.
Something that represents something stable. Something that will be there even through the bad times. The good times.
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writing since 2011 · 16 entries · 14 days shown up
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the words Michelle reaches for
boilingdrivemommanagerfeelingsanswersrepeatinsidehateemotionstopspewingminusculeleveleffortfriendship