misserwin
Country music is emotion in the raw. It's true, pure, and untainted by all the crap that gets into mainstream rap and pop. It's life, uncensored.
Freedom and independence, all so cliche but so tantalizing at the same time. Growing up, finding love, making your own way.
Innocence and no responsibilities, you were going to marry Daddy one day and then save the world. Sheltered, but contently so.
They watch as your mind, body, and destiny feud between the two.
Masks on, we're ready for the day. Lines rehearsed. Mind prepared. It's like high school is one big stage, rehearsing for the grand performance.
I love you.
I want to be with you.
I will marry you.
Make a life with you.
Conquer the world with you.
The words sink their tiny pinprick fangs into my heart, gnawing on the lingering fear and doubt and apprehensiveness that has made itself present.
I don't know if I am capable of this.
Serenity is fleeting in this crazy life. It's the few moments of peace I get when I"m driving alone in the car, headed to some chaotic destination, but for that time, it's just me, me and the road, me and my thoughts. It's laying on the couch watching basketball on mute with my head on your chest, knowing that it's the best sound in the world just to hear you breathing. it's the deep breaths I take when laying in bed, knowing that i've made it through another day. those moments of serenity are what keep me going. they are fleeting, which makes them even more valuable.
You need it. You don't realize that while I have kept my distance, I still watch you. You're an interesting specimen. Though you think you have it all figured out now, it's obvious you are still floundering, gasping, crying for help through your actions. You still need that help but so far, it hasn't appeared.
I've found mine, and I almost wish I could give that gift to you.
Without you, I know I would be better off.
Without you, I might not know where I am headed.
But without you, I will be okay.
writing since 2010 · 7 entries · 7 days shown up
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the words Erin reaches for
headedwatchhelpserenityfleetingmomentslayingknowinglovemarrymindbetterrealizedistanceinterestingspecimen