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"they'll stumble into the pep rally - they'll have no idea what's coming next."
"Christina, we can't have the cheerleaders rip off their shirts! The principal will NEVER let that one slide."
"Are you kidding? He'll be the first one in line to see it!"
he guided me around the puddle as we began the small trek back to from the cave. "I really want us to have the same last name," he said. And I blushed, excited and ready to jump out of my skin. "At this point if there's anyone out there I can love any more I don't even want to find out because I wouldn't be able to handle anything that's more than what I feel right now."
sometimes the days are like walking on pins and needles....I'm waiting, holding my breath to see what happens. the anxiety, the stress of what will happen next. it can all melt away with a glance or a touch - some reassurance from you.
every morning when we have to go in separate directions, every time we have to stop what we're doing and give attention to something or someone else...it's ridiculous how bad it is. functioning in normal life? painful without you for even a second sometimes...
my mind feels like a mirror maze....an idea, a child, a comment - 3 at one time send me bouncing back and forth like the light of the reflections, constantly stuck in the middle with little progress to the outside.
"what's up chief," the guy says as he walks by to fill up his seemingly endless coffee mug. "fuck off, dude," is the only thing I have in my head. do I really have to do this again today?
the cala lillies are brown and curled now but even in that state they bring a chill back to my spine at a glance. that first look at you in your suit and tie on that morning took my breath away...
the oil in her hair showed how little they actually paid attention....gosh, what had it been? maybe 2 or 3 days since a shower? maybe not....it was probably just lack of knowing. why bother to teach when you never intend to give her any opportunity to have a productive life.
"It's in the trunk," was the first thing that popped in my head as I rounded the corner and saw the intricately carved Ganesha in front of me. It was beautiful and it made the hairs on my arms stand up.
on the last day of vacation, it's hard to turn a glimmer of anxiety back into a glimmer of hope. all the time that we spend doing things that we don't really want to is coming back in. this time I'm hoping I can actually say that I'm okay with it - even when I know I'm not. it's just a matter of pressing forward into a great new year.
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