naivenan
i feel a knot in my stomach
weaved down from my brain
into my throat,
strangling my thoughts,
burning my words with its threads
into ashes.
it's restrained the memory of me,
they took her hostage,
she's gone on a hunger strike.
and as the fire within me ignites
and scorches the ropes,
the burnt jute builds up
and i'm choking.
following the trail of words
and pieces of feelings
once whole
i ask myself:
how do i let this go?
i'm emboding a bird,
following breadcrumbs
that will eventually
lead it
to death by strangling.
feeling your warmth on my skin is the closest i'll be
to explain
the ray of morning sunshine
coming through my windowpane
in my childhood home
where i shed my fears
and built my ways
you embody a space so safe
left behind in cardboard boxes
and faded tinging smells
you're the recreation
of my sacred place.
i feel velvet under my fingers,
caressing them in ways no one else has.
smooth and overpowering
at the same time,
in the color of blood,
and my tired heart
i am his
and he is mine.
broken twigs
laid on
fresh soil,
the sound
of boots
stepping on them
felt familiar
to my ears.
from the time
a fireplace
crackled and
your embrace
warmed
the coldest
night in years.
i miss those days
and the heat
of your chest
that erased
my fears.
the frost melted
on our noses,
the icycles
vanished slowly
as the spring season
swept them
under the rug
of grass and moss.
your heart liquified
and flooded
the pastel-painted
room, you drowned
the flowers and
i went with them.
winter season's over,
she took the cold-hearted
and their lovers with her.
my eyes scanned through the room
and couldn't find you.
no locking peeps,
green and brown,
merging to create a hazel mist.
no synchronised smiles,
cigarette stained teeth defeated by white pearls in disguise.
***unfinished***
adf
weaving broken strings in my heart
won't fix it
it's still in pieces.
pieces you can cut and shred
i'll never be whole.
your lips taste like flaming pepper
spicy and hot with rage
your mouth burns
and damages mine
but i can't leave you here.
pepper is not venom
or toxic
pepper makes me savour
sorrow and pain
i can taste every goodbye
and feeling of despair you've ever experienced.
my mouth is burnt
it stings to the core,
at least i feel something
i'm not empty anymore.
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writing since 2014 · 43 entries · 42 days shown up
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