nayantara
The night breeze was cool and light; her mind was calm; her breath shallow and cool. Her fears had passed with the passage of time and in the cool travails of the lonely night, she knew that she was free - lonely, but nonetheless, uplifted. She maintained the rush this realisation brought with it. It was almost as if she were living in two worlds all at the same. Cool with the harshness of reality; warm with the hope of a better future.
In the lushness of that first rain ushering in the winters, with that first smell of the fresh wet earth, with the realisation that festivals were in the cool refreshing air, in that moment, she knew. She'd sail through all of this, too. It wouldn't be easy. Neither did she know how she'd do it but, from that point on, she has set sail into the unknown with a swing in her gait and joy in her feet.
She found the solution in his eyes. His voice. His smile. His touch. The key to all her worries was to let go. In his arms. He was the solution. Yet, she loved another. She knew this was easy. And that this was right. Which is precisely why she ran away from it. Rebelled against it. Ruined it; for him and her, both.
The solution was in staying away. But that was the problem. To get to the solution, she needed to put a stone to her heart and behave thus. How could she? She wondered.. After all, the solution meant running away from it all. Hardly a plausible solution, she realised. Not when it came to him. Or her, or them, really.
He left me in charge of his heart. His soul he didn't have one. That he'd left with his true love. But me? As always, I was the sidey. He came back to me each time he knew he needed someone to take charge of his life. Me. The sidey. Could I charge him for all the pain?