rahostetler

rahostetler

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I had the basket of bread. All eyes were on me. All I had to do was feed the large monster and the sword of triumph would be mine. Suddenly, a hair got in my eye. Like one of those enormous lashes that you just can't get out. Before I knew it, the monster ate me and the basket of bread. I guess the sword of triumph will have to go to the next shooter.

train

The train moved quickly down the tracks. Suddenly, a loud BOOM came from the caboose. "What was that?" cried the train conductor. When he went to look, he saw nothing but a great big polar bear reprimanding a passenger for not having a ticket.

I met a cowboy once. He was depressed because he had been out of work for 3 years. He was underemployed as an ice cream maker. He churned ice cream for fat little greedy children. He would much rather be shooting bad guys in the wild wild west.

I guess I'm just an average space explorer. I haven't really discovered anything, except for more space. All I want is to be like the other famous space explorers and discover things like black holes and aliens on other planets. Who am I kidding, I'll never be as great as them. I guess I'm just an average space explorer.

I was way behind schedule. I was supposed to be taking the trash to the city dump but I totally got distracted by this bicycle laying on the road. I was like, "this could be mine." But the bicycler said, "yeah, i don't think so. Quit staring at my bike."

hats

I once had many hats. They all had names and could talk. My baseball hat would say things like, "baseball rocks." My top hat would say things like the Gettysburg Address. My winter hats were the best because they were generally the quietest.

mist

Through the window I saw the mist falling from the sky. "What a stupid rainy day," my friend said. He was mad because he wanted to play baseball. But baseball is dumb.

The most improbably thing ever is if an elephant living on Douglas avenue would walk out and say that he didn't like peanuts. Elephants love peanuts.

made

Pie was made to enjoy, not to be used to punish clowns. If we wanted to make something to punish clowns, we would just put them in a room of eternally sad children.

I had a lot of pencils strung together with gummy bears. When before I knew it, I had a mile of pencils and gummy bears. Too bad I did this in the woods. This offended both the trees and the bears.

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“I was in the coffee shop and they were out of creamer. I was so mad that I threw my coffee at the wall. I felt bad and started to clean it up. While I was cleaning the wall I noticed an add for 50…”

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spacetidesunmythbearsbaseballlikedmetcandybarsskytiresvaseguesscleanstupid