SIXTYSECONDSGO
Santa sat at Mrs Claus' dressing table with a determined look on his rosy red face.
"Lets do this."
He lifted the scalpel to his beard and attempted to hack a chunk of his frosty and ragged beard off. 2 hours later it was all gone and Santa looked a good deal younger to his delight. Then all of the sudden there was a big poof of smoke and suddenly his beard had regrown 3 times longer!
"Damn. Should of used the chainsaw."
*MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE*
In a shed a couple of ghosts were having a good old gossip.
"Hey, what do you think is youknow- beyond this superficial world?" The more curious of the two inquired studiously.
The other raised their eyebrows and replied gravely,"They betta have microwave chips dude."
Squinting at the boy coming into school with a homemade knitted darlek costume complete with a whisk clasped in his front hand I said, "You my friend are taking this 'dress up' day to a whole new level."
THE HEADBAND OF DESTINY DICTATES OUR LIVES. NO-ONE CAN ESCAPE IT.
IT DOESN'T BURN.
IT DOESN'T ROT.
IT COMES IN ALL SHAPES AND SIZES.
"Welcome to the oneword tribe!" screamed a gang of cyber ninjas dressed head to toe in leaves running around rabidly shaking the hands of all the oneword newbies. "And good luck with all your writing ventures!"
The facedown between the two grannies began with a glare and a stolen 10% off M&S voucher.
One, dressed in electric yellow, lifted her handbag above her head with a sly smile and the other, in a polka dot pink, with a tin of heinx beans at her side.
"Game on." Electron tide hissed under her breath.
"You wish." Shadow fly replied with a cackle.
OUTSAUCED:
(Definition) -To take one's ketchup and squirt it all over your frienemies, declaring "Dude! You've just been OUTSAUCED! BOOM!"
The next Atlantis- destined to get gobbled up by the sea. Fish pie anyone?
#YOLO
These might look cute at first, but trying telling yourself that when its gone and bitten off your head.
#YOLO
It's that feeling in your gut. That riggles and fiddles with your insides, tangling them up.
Maybe you shouldn't of had that curry.
Hmmm.
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