stonefoxkneesocks
my father's skin is armor; tan and tough year after year
wrinkled only from life's work, no lines from laughter, pain, or fear
only once did he break through, the day I taught him grief exists
he knelt sobbing at my bedside; zip ties chained my bandaged wrists.
I hide behind knowledge to excuse the insane
to make sense out of love, negate heartbreak and pain
a flush of the face; a mere chemical effect
nothing in the heart a glass slide can't reflect.
but for you, there is no thesis; no research that defines
the reason why your eyes, to me, are treasured, bright blue shrines.
the vacancy you never filled, I only now perceive
the absurdity of missing you, never mine to leave.
she goes through men like paychecks; free dinners, no harm done
lipstick worn like war paint, brands the necks of every one
burns bridges like an arsonist, cuts ties like Sweeney Todd
stole one glance over her shoulder and he shattered her facade.
I'm shrink-wrapped and vacuum sealed, boxed up and hid away
you swear to me you'll let me down; another time, a better day.
my painted lips await your kiss; my fairy tale is now a nightmare
my plastic heart beats madness, lungs breathe dreams instead of air.
he had skin of sandpaper; my lips were rubbed raw
eyes frozen in blue above a tightly clenched jaw
arms like chains on his chest; like a soldier he stands
my nails torn clean off, I throw up my hands.
confined like a steed in a merry-go-round
I exist for amusement; a sadist's playground
in circles I run, a stake through my middle
the weight on my shoulders the most lovely riddle.
master at staring into blindingly bright lights
smile through the pain as I tiptoe at great heights
locks turned, blinds drawn, designer dress on the floor
poise runs down like mascara the minute I shut the door.
white knuckles nearly strangling the edge of my seat
the same color as the fence of every house on this street
caps in the air; eighteen years, watch me soar
leave a key under the mat before I turn and slam the door.
my father teaches math. made the butt of every joke
laughingstock at every party; “babysitter,” “dumb and broke”
treated less than dirt, land you inherited for free
sailed seas with empty hands except for one that cradled me.
writing since 2012 · 158 entries · 151 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means stonefoxkneesocks showed up.
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the words stonefoxkneesocks reaches for
lovehearteyesnowskinnightmindwordslipshandstruecannotlosttruthlovedhead