stori9913
I elevated my knee up on the pillows and dropped the ice pack on to it, groaning with pain as the cold hit my leg. "You should've been more careful," I heard my friend mutter before I reached out with my free foot and kicked her.
the cheerleading squad was a big deal, meaning if you didn't make it in, you were automatically labled as a loser. she wanted to make it so bad, knowing that if she did, she'd be shot straight to the top of the social ladder. maybe then, people wouldn't think of her as such a freak. maybe then, she'd actually have friends who'd like her.
i was utterly and completely baffled. i didn't even touch the book; i was barely thinking about the book. yet somehow, it moved on its own, flew completely across the room and slammed into the wall. as i raised my hand, the book raised with it. what was happening?
the instructor leaned in close to watch his student, noting how she kept her form throughout the entirety of the song. he praised her highly, giving her a small nod and a quick smile before moving on to the next dance. she counted it as a victory, if not a small one.
it was almost like a stampede, only with people, all rushing to their next class and paying no attention to the thin girl getting shoved all around. but then again, no one noticed her regardless, so why should today be any different?
she stared down at the scale with building anxiety, a strangled gasp falling from her lips as she read the number. she hadn't lost any weight; after two weeks of struggling and wishing and praying and hoping, she was still at that dreadful number. she closed her eyes and backed against the wall, cursing the scale and the world around her.
she cursed loudly and crumbled her third piece of paper, deciding to rewrite the letter again. there were streaks of mascara mixed with tears dried on her face, wetting again as fresh tears spilled over her eyes. but she had to do it; she had to leave him, even if it would be the hardest thing she'll ever do.
it was complete lunacy, the way she carried herself. she was confident, beautiful, and she knew it. she absolutely didn't care about what others thought of her. or at least, thats what she let everybody think. in the darkness of the night, alone in her room, it was almost like she was a different person. in actuality, that was the real lunacy; that someone can seem so completely and utterly happy, when all they really, truly want is to be seen through and to be saved, to be wanted.
i was hoping he'd come, but obviously i got my hopes up for nothing. funny thing that is, hope. it makes you think there's a small chance when there's absolutely zero, but hope blinds you; hope tears you apart until there's nothing left of you but sorry and regret. if you ask me, hope is nothing but a lie.
writing since 2013 · 11 entries · 11 days shown up
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hopenowtearseyescompletelybookwatercallinganywayshopingchanceabsolutelygallerylunacyroomdifferent