vickihall97
My mind is open for those who can understand it but, my soul is harder to reach.
A barrier is up with signs saying "come in peace", as if all others are foreign and bound to impede on my many years of healing. But, when you got my mind you heard my soul, and when you saw the barrier you climbed that wall to show me not all peace comes from within.
So, thank you for vibrating with me.
The walls creak and are 5000ft high and i swear they move closer together everyday. The floor is quicksand and i cannot move. I'm stuck. I scream and no one hears. I scream loud. "FIRE!", "RAPE!" "HELP!" no one answers. I'm stuck. Anxiety. The walls are really 80ft, they stay in place everyday, the floor is carpet and soft. I'm not screaming, no words are coming out, they cant. Anxiety. I'm imprisoned in my own head. I'm stuck.
i used to sit on rooftops with my friends. We would sneak up there and drink, smoke, laugh and cry. I grew up up there the the rooftop. My first kiss happened up there. We were sitting there watching the stars. And I still watch the stars. On that rooftop I tried to jump, to be with the stars. To me the rooftop was the closest thing to something more. up there I saw everything. all the lives below me, and all the lives gone above me. I still sit on rooftops. And i still watch the stars.
All my life I've grown up getting "You're an oreo" or "You're but a normal black girl, you sound white", but what does white sound like? Are you confused because I pronounce every syllable in a word? Or is it my lack of slang? Maybe its because you've never seen someone 'my color' make it past the 10th grade. It's so foreign to you that a black child could be educated. That we put down our fried chicken and sat out fat asses down long enough to read a book? That i can do more than be a 'trap queen' or a trophy wife. Can you even comprehend that I am a 19 year old BLACK and EDUCATED college student?
Have you ever been alone? Not just by yourself, but truly alone? All of your family is alive and your friends are around you. Your phone is full of contacts but you are alone? It is an indescribable pain. Your lungs feel heavy while you struggle to find a reason to take another breath. Your heart feels heavy with the weight of not having one person who knows you or understands you. Your head hurts because you think too hard on the words to say to describe the indescribable feeling of being alone while everyone you know is by your side.
I wish I could be as high as a tower. Not by drugs but literally that high up. To just stand on one and for once feel like I matter. Standing higher than everyone else and looking down on the little people and arbitrary things that don't really matter in life. To appreciate the aesthetics. Feel the way the wind moves and maybe understand a few things about life and why I am here. Maybe just figure myself out.
This is it. The moment that will change your life forever. There he is and he sees you. Don't freak out, this is the boy you stared at longer than the history test you definitely just failed. He is your future boyfriend. That's it Victoria, think positive, think bad things and bad things happen. Just walk up to him. Two more steps. Open your mouth and be CONFIDENT.
Summer just ended and now it getting cold, what are all these girls gonna do? I myself do not tan because i am black but there are so many people who will get pasty.
There's so much in life that is unfair and that i find unfair. Why can't everyone get the same respect and love as everyone else. Don't i deserve just as much as you? I get told "life isn't fair" all the time when something happens that isn't good, but why cant it be fair?