alphabetown
i am the chief commodore. only i have the power to make or break this dance. please, follow me into the dark and trust that i won't get us lost for very long. just long enough for you to see that you love me, that you love each other. hold each others hands, waists, necks. make it count so we don't lose each other in the end.
ha! like an old rusty sleeve,
or a heart sailing on the big,
blue, wide-open seas.
its so obvious, this life we're living in. i lump everyone and everything together, but are we really all the different? the constant disconnection makes us all hate each other so much. its not the holidays or world news or any other touching moment between friends, we need to stick together and include everyone. stop being so selfish, its obviously someone's last day, so lets make it count.
i wake up each day and i wish i could have been the girl for him. but i was stupid back then, pushy and irrelevant to the people i surrounded myself with. they were nice though, putting up with my antics and sounds; it must have been quite the show. i just wish i could wake up one day and not cringe at the thought of how i was, of how the past turned out to be. it makes me want to kill myself so i don't have to live through day terrors of scowls and him saying good riddance on the other end of the phone. it always reverts back to him, and until i can either fight this or come to some form of closure with the bastard, i will eventually come to an end, and then the future will look a hell of a lot worse than the past.
when its time to let go, don't worry, you'll see the post it.
don't shoot the gun; it's wrong. spell correctly; don't make mistakes. the god always come out of the machine and ruins it all. don't sleep so late, don't think so much, clean up your room, your head. it's inevitable. dream, don't sleep.
sheets of paper and fabric and lies and rain. we send each other emails and we're still pretending we don't see each other. i talk to you too much even though you're never really around.
my pain is immense. it is deep and it is warm. every day it rises a little more and my breaths happen less and less. let's fly into space and sit amongst the stars. we can eat moon pie and spin the rings into oblivion.
nothing is practical, not even life. there is no practicality in living. to live is to fight the fates, to fight the sign of the heavens and skies. don't be afraid. we are still young.
transport me to the north. so i can slide down the snow covered hills. i want to lose the feeling in my skin, in my bones. i want to fuck you sweetly while you say love you love you girl.
writing since 2010 · 11 entries · 9 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means alphabetown showed up.
2longest streak
9days written
0.2entries / week
the words alphabetown reaches for
lovelosegirlfighttransportnorthslidesnowcoveredhillsfeelingskinbonesfucksweetlyliving