ayeshaworkingit

ayeshaworkingit

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there wasn't anything i could say that would change her viewpoint. i could tell. her jaw was set. her eyes cast down on the floor. it was as if she had closed off from the world and was existing completely in and of herself. i didn't know what to say. i wasn't the best person to talk to her about it either. An uncomfortable silence enveloped us as we waited for the bus.

I like to ride my bicycle, I like to ride my bike! I like to ride my bicycle, I like to ride my biiiiiiike! I like to ride my biiiiiiike! I like to ride my biiiiiiiiiike! BI-cycle! BI-cycle! BI-cycle. God, we miss you, Freddie! I hope you are lighting up the stars and universe with your amazing voice and sparkling personality!

visit

The visit was lovely - I hadn't seen her in weeks and for a change, our conversation wasn't entangled in comparisons and conflict. It was a genuine meeting of hearts and spirits and we took comfort and happiness in each other's stories and successes. I was grateful; perhaps we had finally turned a corner.

It was curtains for Michael. He knew it - there was no denying it. He felt all the colour fall away from his face, petals of white flesh drifting to the floor. As he watched Alice get out of the limo, ensconced in layers of white, he knew she was floating out of his life forever.

denim

I loved that leather jacket on him - the black sleekness accented the soft blue of his body-hugging denim jeans. He was a vision of modern-day man - hip, hot and manly. If only he could sing; he would've put Bon Jovi to shame.

I can't falter on this journey. I've come way too far to drop the ball - again. This is the ultimate test of my resolve and of my commitment to getting things done. I will do everything in my power to make it happen - I will make it happen. And when I do, then there's only way to go from there - UP. Higher and higher. I can do this.

Lori had me in stitches all day with her spot-on impersonations of everyone in the office. "I don't think there's any waaaaaaaay that this plan can be implemented without a coooooooost analysis" she drawled like Mrs. Larken from Finance. "But wouldn't it be just fab to like, get all dressed up and make a lunch date of it?" she giggled away like Brittney the intern. "I mean who would even notice that we're gone?" It had been a long time since I felt so relaxed in these four walls and I owed it all to my new friend.

He was a greedy bastard. In all my years of working with him, I had never seen him given even a living wage to anyone who worked for him - not me, not the nanny or the gardener. It was the sadness of the children that kept us with him - the desire to nourish their hearts with something that he was too self-absorbed to provide.

I was amused by his ramblings. In all the years I had known him, he always seemed to have a story for any occasion - didn't matter how complex or how obscure. A character for all seasons, I liked to call him. But more than that, it was that his stories were meant to support and encourage. They were delivered with kindness and good humour. This is why I loved him. This is why he was my friend.

I saw the locket around her neck and drew my breath in sharply. She didn't notice - flipping through her texts on her iPhone, she looked so much like her mother, it was uncanny. I fought hard against the growing rock in my throat - I could never have imagined the impish 5-year-old who sang Britney and shimmied around our old apartment would be the exact replica of my best friend - feminist, artist, woman of all trades - who disappeared almost two years ago to the day. God how I missed her.

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writing since 2014 · 22 entries · 20 days shown up

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on this day 12 years ago

Ayesha_A wrote about flattened
“When I went into work the next morning, I was flattened. There were papers littered around my room, all over the desk, all over the floor - my drawers were turned inside out and my things were strewn…”

the words Ayesha_A reaches for

ridebestfloorhappenworkfriendthrownwordstoodstandingunderdogcornerheartsdognoticecycle