brosephina
i'm excited to be an alumni. but scared. being an alumni means that you're done, that you have nothing left to do somewhere and so you've left, now left only to call yourself an alumni and reminisce about good times. i'm scared. but i think i'm ready.
It really hurts to get close--so close, so close--to something. And then to not reach it. I would have rather failed at the start, so that I could have quashed my hopes just then and there. But to get that close? And still see success slip through your fingers like fine sand? It just kills me.
Classic. She's all red lips and high heels and pearl earrings. He hair is black, curled. He eyes gaze at me through twenty years. More than that. Classic.
I figure I should have seen it coming. The look on your face. The faint way she would smile whenever you were around. The way you two hid from me, from everyone. I should have seen it coming, but I felt blindsided when I saw you holding her hand. So brazenly. So proud. So in love. I fel
I was on one end of the bench, and he sat on the other end. We faced away from each other, staring off towards nothing, our eyes wet. Neither of us opened our mouths, or sad anything about the ever-expanding distance between us.
"You jelly?"
"No. No I am not jelly of you, or your life, or your husband, or the fact that you live in the nicest house in the neighborhood, or the fact that you basically have the perfect life."
...
"I see. So you're jelly."
I dropped the package off at his house. Finally.
It's full of his old things. And, despite the fact that we've been broken up for three months now, I stuck a note on the top that reads, "I love you."
"New edition of the school paper is out tomorrow."
"Does anyone read that thing anymore?"
"No. But they keep putting it out."
"Why?"
"Who knows. Sometimes people do things they love regardless of whether or not other people love it too. I think that's the nature of love."
I did it on a whim;
I did it on a thought;
I did it all my life;
I did it all for him.
Wake up and see me kneeling over you, crying, my tear glimmering like silver beads as they drop on your chest; breaking apart like the dreams in my heart.
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writing since 2010 · 23 entries · 23 days shown up
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