ducky
he presented her with the gift. With trepidationhe handed it over, gilt wrapped with extreme precision. The uncertanty writen all over his face. Was it expensive enough, did it say the right thing? did it convey how much he desperately wanted to claim her as his own? was it subtle enough that her boyfriend wouldn't realise the importance of such a simple gift. With one look of the sparkle in her eyes as she opened it he know, she was his now and forever.
its not yours its not mine, its us both. We decided to do this we both needed it, wanted it craved it. Yes it was destined to happen, when you walked in the room I instantly felt you, when I danced with anyone else you r body begged to claim me as your own. It was only a matter of time, but baby it was always us both.
what he didn't know about himself was that he was loved, loved for the man he is inside, not the lad everyone sees outside. Real. He needs to learn to love in return, freely and wholey and then he will be happy.
it was clear he was nervous, perhaps waiting for someone, perhaps waiting for someone he had not seen in a long time, or never seen before. I summised as I sat containing my own joy at seeing my beloved as stepped off the plane, any minute now. No, it was his daughter, she flew into his arms, coated in an NYU shirt and grown up so much since he saw her last. I jeallously envied their bursting love as they embraced, nervously waiting for my own embrace and hoping after all this time it would be just as filled with love
I waved as he got on the plane. Determined not to let the tears sliding down my cheeks show in my smile, the distance covering the fake grin splashed across my face. Two weeks without him I thought, soon, this plane will bring you back to me soon.
of the thousands of kids, the hundreds of beseaching eyes, the tens of pleas yours was the face I remember. A billion drops of rain, a million blades of grass, a hundred breakfasts, lunches and dinners each day goes passed and everything in it teaches me something new, and something special
they use me and abuse me and throw me around, smile and nod when no answer can be found. I work and toil to be of use, when all I feel in the end is obtuse.
how could he not know I was interested in him, I caught myself stealing glimpses of him all the time, could not help but burst into smile everytime he looked at me, I was a giddy teenager all over again!
baby steps, teeny tiny baby steps. Ilet out a long slow breath, calm smooth yes I can do this, deep breath, shoulders back, chin up, eyes stealed. I am not your punching bag, I am not your slave and I will not be your word whipping post. I am leaving you. Today.
fresh start. leaving him behind was the best thing I could do, the hardest thing I did and at the same time freeing myself from all the bindings I had created. I did this for me for my life for my begining again, not for him, for them or ffor anyone else, this is for me for the first time in my life I get to call ME. and I am happy.
load more entries