elleinad

elleinad

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The farthest I've ever been. Not true. The farthest I've ever told anyone I've been. Well, anyone that matters. To the equator. On a dare.

She watched the leaves flutter as she exhaled as slowly as she could. That would give her away. She drew in the air deeply. Hoping to fill her lungs enough. She couldn't chance them seeing the rustle of leaves. The air burned her lungs as it pushed against her ribs and throat trying to escape. She focused on the sound of the forest but found only silence past the soft oxygen deprived ringing in her ears. She looked through the tiny spaces between the leaves. Nothing. Then she saw it. A tiny tail of smoke rising to the treetops like a trail of incense smoke.

The most debilitating tyrant to my ideas and progress is me. At each moment, I get in my own way with fear and perfectionism. The greatest goal I have for now is to act. To just do. To not fear failure. To not research and wait and hold myself back until I know all there is to know and don't risk making a mistake.

undo

there was only hope as they left the church together. The feeling of warmth between their clutched hands gave hope for today. And hope that tomorrow could undo the past, at least the parts that could be forgotten.

The power to change what would happen lie before her, in the palm of her hand, in the firmness of her stance. This moment was not scripted. She would not be their puppet nor their victim. No more.

Don't let the seconds fool you, it's not really time that's passing. Time is only a mirage. Something you move towards, against and with.

I was on the brink. Tears were about to spill over my lids or my fist was about to sock him in the face. I steadied my facial expersions trying vainly to harness my rage and pain into words. Words that would wound him to the point where his heart would lay fileted and ruined at my feet. Instead, with my tears fought back and fist relaxed against my thigh, I walked away. My silence trailed behind me, as battered but brave shadow.

i knew the stream system better than anyone. it wasn't diffult to guess which route he would take. I followed a parralling stream and waited at the outlet. I win again, I thought as I leaned against a fallen tree trunk and looked for signs of his approach.

What cruel invention of her mind led her to think of him as her companion I cannot say. But, at night she dreamed only of the man whose countenance in dream was anything but what he truly was and whose actions were far from what they would ever be. In day, still worse, she thought of only how it is to have him love her unconciously and wished for the day he would realize his own devotion.

wool

a fierce convulsion shook from limb to core. She wrapped the coat around her more tightly. the vain effort did little to ease the deepening chill. The wooly fabric was insufficient to sheild the sheering wind from slicing through her flesh and settling into her bones.

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writing since 2011 · 14 entries · 14 days shown up

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on this day 11 years ago

ina wrote about scripted
“The power to change what would happen lie before her, in the palm of her hand, in the firmness of her stance. This moment was not scripted. She would not be their puppet nor their victim. No more.”

the words ina reaches for

forestagainstsilencehopeneedlepassedguesstrickbelievelessinsteadchancebreezeeyesstreamtears