globusgeckus
I close my eyes and wonder what could be.
I have to close my eyes these days because imagining much good without doing so is much more difficult than usual. It's not impossible, of course, I've seen too much to be so small. I've seen suffering and tragedy and insurmountable odds, and my life is none of these things, and so all things good are still within my realm and within my reach.
I'm just saying it's a little harder to reach with eyes open these days. But I still close them, thus, and I still wonder. And hope can wander back with wonder.
(possible)
Cut and fade to black... so ends this scene, the curtain falls upon our stage, and that is how it ends.
It doesn't end, of course, no more than the story ends in the hearts and minds of people who walk out of the theater into the cold black of night, with the words and actions and memories of the characters whom they came to love in that brief time together still ringing in their ears and hearts and memories.
I will always love you.
(scene)
Come to me, love, and sit a while. Let's talk about how we can make this work, for all of us. Let's talk about how it's not so wrong to want to combine and blend and mix and swirl all the things that are good about life, and love, and you and me, and everything in between that matters to you, that matters to me. Come to me, love, and let's talk about this. I can share with you my dreams and whisper to you my wishes and I am willing to bet that if you open your mind and open your heart, you'll like where I'm willing to take us.
Don't think I don't know why you put this word here today.
I actually didn't want to think about that, anymore, and certainly not today.
Not when I've got a funeral on my mind, starting tomorrow, for the next few days.
And also mostly because I did a lot of reflecting and thinking about it last year, at the 10-year mark; not because I don't care anymore.
(towers)
I strapped in and stood up. It was go time. I was halfway up the slope outside the gondola station, as you have to be if you have a prayer of making it past that slightly uphill bit and past the first mountain with enough momentum to prevent you from having to unstrap and walk, then sit and strap in again. What a pain in the ass.
I brushed my hands on my side, for no real reason other than to psyche myself up and feel like a bad ass, then boogied.
(binding)
The waterfall crashes down, hot water splashing into the pool, snow slopes buzzing with people whizzing down them outside the open-air window frame in front of me.
The steam rises thick, obstructing the view of our breasts from the eyes of the snowboarders and skiers, but we know. We know that we are warm and wet and naked in this hot spa with its hot waterfall, in plain view of a thousand people in one of the most conservative cultures on earth.
(spa)
I stared out the window of another bus, the Asian scenery whizzing by. Mat Kearney sang in my ear, as he had been quite a lot lately. And before him it was Angels and Airwaves, for god knows how long, months.
I thought of Dave a lot, then. Dave and for some reason, Vince. And Scott.
(headphones)
He flexed the thin plastic plate back and forth, looking at me.
"I think this one will do," he said, dropping it to his side, the matter decided. The next move, of course, would be to head to the cash register and finish our trip.
But all I could think was how I was about to end it with him.
(flex)
In the stillness of the night, you stirred and awoke me.
I'd never been in this position before. Not with you.
But what do you do, but love someone, when they are next to you?
You never know where it will go. Where it will take you.
You just go.
(stillness)
"I don't care whether you go or not," he said, turning away from the conversation. She spoke to his back.
"Yes you do," she said. "If you didn't, you wouldn't have come back here in the first place."
His back spoke back to her. "I had to come to make arrangements for my mother," he said simply. "That was all."
She glared at him, hoping he felt it through his skin.
"Fine," she said, and walked out the front door, closing it with a crisp click.
(whether)
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