inna
You hold it, like nobody else could. You went away with it, now there's no way in. I thought you'd stay because you promised. I made myself believe that just because you could, doesn't mean you will. That was my one mistake, because that was the only promise you did break.
Capturing moments through the lens, making everything count. I wish the mind can capture every fragment of a memory, every movement in a beautiful landscape, every blink of an eye and never forget. A storage room-full, some I would never look at again while some I would tape on my bedroom wall until I can see no more mint green paint behind it. I'll stock it up until I fade into the light, I'll make it count until the dark leaves the night.
A closed-off space triggering claustrophobia. Clutched tight by an invisible force, glued into place by something you can't see. "Don't cry," I head someone say. My tears flow freely. "Why do you always do this to me?", I ask in a small voice. "Why can't you let me be happy?" You looked at me with sad eyes, and I knew.
I knew that tomorrow, when I wake up, it's still you. It will always be you.
When I think of methods, I only think of formality, a set of rules that you have to follow in order to achieve something. I don't think life is all about form or structure. Life is more than scientific explanations, and sometimes the abstract things give more meaning to life than empirical evidence.
My life has been full of losses, but I realized, I learned more when I lost compared to when I won. Maybe it's the complacency you start to feel after gaining something that makes you lax and not strive and push harder. But more than that maybe it's when you lose something that you finally realize: nothing worth having ever comes easy.
writing since 2012 · 6 entries · 6 days shown up
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schoolfullcountfearprefectdisciplinebullywearssuitsbarongsspeaksassemblieslessamazinggrammaraccent