jphuber

jphuber

This user account status is Approved

There is a certain hatred behind ones beliefs. They're supposed to drive conviction, and they often do, but it's the kind of conviction that others should fall in line with _their_ convictions. It should be about respecting others, though, and that's what I believe.

She looked so adorable, sitting on the bench. I remember her brown hair cascading past those brown eyes. Her smile would make my heart melt. I know why I don't miss her, though. And it's the best reason ever. It's because I'll get to go home to her tonight.

It's not what drives me to success that makes me happy. It's the intrigue that I inspire in others. Narcissistic? Of course. But you'll never see me bored, ever see me alone at a party. The intrigue that others have in you are what can inspire others to be great.

shows

It shows when you have no motivation. It seethes through and drips all over your work. It's like showing off what you can't do, what you can't bring yourself to. It's almost like admitting to the world that there's nothing you can do right now, and there's nothing that the world can do about it. It shows when you're lacking effort. It shows.

A season to me is all about where you are. I rotate with them in peculiar ways. Up and down we both go in regards to temper and temperature. But one thing about the seasons is that they're ever changing like me. And I like to think that even though we both change, we're always still the same.

He never thought much of himself. He also never wrote in second person. Boy this turned introspective quick. I've also run out of things to say. Wait, who? Himself?

guard

I am on guard for my heart. It's been so much time and I still refuse to let my guard down. Standing at attention are the soldiers shame, embarrassment, and rejection. They guard my heart like I can't. They protect me from myself.

upper

I feel right now like I've taken an upper. I feel so high! I've never felt so good after feeling so low for so long. My entire life is different than what I thought the future held for me just 7 short months ago. I feel sad still, from time to time, but that's not any way to live your life. I need to live my life above the sad line. As an upper.

I have various feelings right now because I'm moving on. New job, new city... But it's to an old, familiar place where friends are and various places I remember will again play a big role in my life. I simply can't wait until my life moves forward.

help

I am so used to remaining silent when all I want to do is scream for help. It's too hard to ask for it, to want it. Needing it is enough to make me cringe. Only when it is unsolicited do I begin the process of resigning myself to accepting this awful, awful gesture.

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writing since 2012 · 25 entries · 25 days shown up

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on this day 14 years ago

JPHuber wrote about approval
“I've always sought the approval of others until I met her. With her it was instant, always present. But the thing about approval is that over time, no matter the person, they're willing to lose it. N…”

the words JPHuber reaches for

otherseventnowheartdespitechooseconceptawfullivethoughtsaffairsguardshowsgamelosebest