krystalr
You hold me like old memory I've become
You see me as the smudged colors
You've tried the polish
You've used the cloth
But never will your attempts ever heal
My tarnished soul
Watch the clock now. tickticktick. Running out of time, too slow.
Beep, beep, beep.
Game over.
The atmosphere reeked of formality.
I yearned to grab his hand, to close the gap, but expectations forbid it.
Only a few more hours, then I can go back to my jeans and sneakers.
I can survive this:
Shoulders back,
Mouth closed,
Pretty and open
Nod and smile.
Repeat.
Is there really any breaking involved
When your heart has supposedly been shattered?
It feels more like a paper being burned.
Slow.
Curling.
And then bright and fast.
Nothing to piece back together afterward,
Only the ashes that are left behind.
It was a punch to my gut.
Broken.
Apart.
I wanted to ask why but that would have make me have to face the fact that I was caught off guard, that I didn't know where we stood.
It was a surpirse, the worst one in the world.
Pin ball.
Whack.
Shink.
Tossing, spinning, falling, flying.
Smack.
Ding.
Pin ball.
Ring
Ring
Ring
Answer
Or just silence the persistant noise
My ring finger slid down the button, quiet.
Que my recording...
Please leave a message after the beep.
....
Beep.
Off.
All the time I wonder
If you ever really knew,
How bad off I was
Before I was saved
By you.
I created the opportunity.
I had all the moves choreographed.
Everything was planned.
It was all,
Perfect.
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