maddhopevoirol
When I imagine myself, which I do often but not in some conceited way, I tend to imagine myself as two parts with a fence seperating myself. On one side of the fence is who I am on the outside. What I let be seen by others. The act I put on for the world. The happy little girl. But on the other side of that fence, well there is me. There is who I really am, the person who can barley handle what has happened to her in the past and who has taken in all the hurt the world has served her, the girl who hates herself. The girl who hates every single thing about herself. The girl who is disgusted by her own skin, who wishes nothing more than to slice all of her flesh away, the girl who wishes nothing more than to end.
Melissa is terrified of thunder, so tonight I told her she could come sleep with me. She yes to my surprise. She came with her gorgeous hair piled up in a bun on her head, a tight tank top and really short shorts. I am going to have trouble behaving tonight.
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