marz
I couldn't breathe as I stared into those ocean blue eyes. You know not of the destruction that you have caused, yet you know of all of the destruction in the world. No body cares more than you, yet you are the most likely to hurt the ones you love. You strand them without an inhaler, almost as if to make them slowly suffer.
My family. Don't do this, don't say this. That is what they do. And yet, someone has it worse than I do. Someone has is so badly that they pray each and every day for it to get better. For that, I am thankful. I am thankful that my life isn't as dysfunctional as it could be. And I am disappointed that this world would have the option of making it the possibly worse and for making people's lives terrible.
My family. Don't do this, don't say this. That is what they do. And yet, someone has it worse than I do. Someone has is so badly that they pray each and every day for it to get better. For that, I am thankful. I am thankful that my life isn't as dysfunctional as it could be.
I think that it is a teensy eensy bit ironic that this is the day after nine eleven. A bit insensitive too. I was only in kindergarten when this happened. Two days before my birthday. It changed my life forever, but I don't remember how. I don't remember my childhood. I wish that I did.
The binding on that book had thinned down to nearly nothing. She had opened and closed and opened and closed and opened and closed it's pages more than time itself. Yet somehow, no matter how many times she opened and closed that book, nothing changed. Only the creases on her skin became more deep and her eyes reflected sadness a little more each day. Her mouth became dry and her bones began to ache as if they were crying. I suppose that they cried for her now, now that all of them had been soaked into the tear stained pages of that book. It was all that she had of her life. She closed the book one last time. Then went to sleep and dreamed of everything and nothing.
The only thing that I could see what the stillness of her eyes. The calm resolution that nothing was every going to occur in the depths of those pupils again. She was gone from me forever. Her face no long able to be lighted up by emotion and purpose. I miss her. I'll never see anything but the stillness of death as long as I live.
Whether I love you or not, you will have changed no matter what has happened. That's what happens, we take from each other. We learn from each other. And sometimes, we don't ever notice when we do. Sometimes, it just becomes us.
writing since 2012 · 9 entries · 7 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means Amara showed up.
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the words Amara reaches for
closedbookopenedthankfulchangedeyesworsehappensmeansoptionlovematterhappenedsometimesstillnessforever