meghanmcconnell
I have one year left. That's it. Nothing after that will be the same, and I am not prepared at all. What if I never get to see my friends again? What if they all go on, and I'm still here, stuck in the trap that has been around our ankles for eighteen years? I can't bear the thought of staying here, watching everyone who is important to me move on to greater things, experiencing the world and finding themselves, while I sit in this house and pretend to be okay with the mediocre life that I live.
Level ground is hard to come by naturally. The only way to fond it is to create it. But by creating something level, we are going against the natural pattern of things. We are defying the laws of physics that lead all things to a state of disarray. And I think I would much rather live in a state of chaos than an unnatural state of level falseness.
writing since 2014 · 12 entries · 11 days shown up
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the words Meghan reaches for
levelnonsensestateliveallowedskinfadedstaredhardtruthdarkmindrealbeganwordsbring