megsug
He stands silently
trying not to think,
trying not to breath
the musty smell of the jail.
He thinks of cocaine,
the soft white powder
that he had abused
so many times before.
And wonders if, perhaps,
it's anything like
'riding the lightening.'
Maybe, he's already dead.
The pins fall
all of them felled
by one fat, stupid ball.
Of course,
this ball is hurled
by a supreme force
but who knows that?
The pins?
Surely not!
They are lost in their world,
in the cycle of
being knocked over
just to fall again.
The bright blue sky of July made me think of sticking my toes into the warm soil of the farm and laying back to stare at the clouds that mocked us earthlings sweltering in the hot, still air by skimming over the rim of the world. Alas, I was in the concrete jungle, not a patch of free dirt to be found.
Solution... The aha moment of science, of politics, of life. A solution is the biggest gift you can give someone, I think. A solution to a family crisis, a small problem, a world changing issue, or a personal thing.
I was in charge. It's just stressful. That's the bottom line. Power is not worth the stress that comes with it. Look at our presidents. All of them younger looking when they go in, old as dirt and tired when they come out. Obama after four years, looks ten years older. His hair is graying already.
I was raised as a girl in the deep South. I was raised on manners and fried chicken. I was raised on biscuits and religion. I'm proud of my heritage. I'll let my twang shine. It tells you I was raised with sense.
He sat on the gravestone. He a buried his mother years ago, years he couldn't even remember. His sister had died. His friends had each perished one by one, but he had always had her.
Our Father who art in heaven...
He began and watched as the sun began to rise.
He looked down at me as I quailed underneath him, attempting to not show my fear, but as he ripped my trousers off of me and revealed my pure fruit I had to close my eyes and bite my lip. He lowered himself into me as he laughed and whispered, "I am dominant."
I stood in front of my people and spoke. How long could I stand and speak of... 'deserving' forgiveness? How can one deserve forgiveness? In the word, is give. Forgiveness is not taken but given, and I, even I, desperately need it.
He sighed and wrote a note... the last note, maybe.
He wouldn't put the mushy things. There was no time for that. He put the serious things they had never talked about. He would miss her. He had wanted the baby. He would never know what to do if he didn't find her again.
That was before he was drafted...
writing since 2012 · 11 entries · 11 days shown up
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the words Megan reaches for
differentraisedkilledforgivenesssolutionnotebegandirtalreadypinsfallballtryingmeanchildkilling