mgroat

mgroat

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The light danced across her skin as she wandered across the open field. She'd spent most of her life in the city, and this is the first time she was surrounded by nature as far as the eye could see.

I stared up at the skyline, in awe of the sights around me. Every one of them had a story to tell. A small start-up, an architect's first realized dream, a home.

She swam laps all afternoon, trying so desperately to get back into shape. Trying to re-capture the glory days of the swim team captain.

watch

How could I just sit there and watch? The man was bleeding to death, and I didn't rush to his aid, didn't call 911, didn't even avert my eyes. I just stared at him.

It was hard at first -- living without her. Things that were simple before I met her were impossible now she was gone. Still, I had to push forward. I had to get through an hour without thinking of her, then eventually I could get through a day, and now the regret of losing her rarely crosses my mind.

She stood there in her formal dress. She wasn't going to the party like all her classmates were, but she wore the dress anyway. It was her way of telling herself that she could have fun, even if she wasn't invited.

motel

It was a dirty, grimey, seedy place. Not the kind of place I'd expected to find myself, and especially not with /her/. But I guess we all make mistakes.

Most issues aren't clearly divided into black and white. Politics, among other aspects of human behavior, would be so much smoother if people could see the gray.

I spend my days trying to become who I want to be. All this effort spent on what I want to be, none spent on what I am.

Always an outsider looking in, never taking an active role. I claim that's what I like, but deep down inside, don't I really want to become involved?

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writing since 2010 · 13 entries · 13 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means Matthew showed up.

10longest streak

13days written

3.3entries / week

on this day 16 years ago

Matthew wrote about punch
“The fist made contact before I could even realize what I was doing. Sure I'd had my problems with him, but I never expected to turn to violence so quickly. It was as if my mind had left my body, an…”

the words Matthew reaches for

tryingspentpouchsureexpectedmindtellingdressnowstaredcarriedspiceseverywheremotherunderstandfault