pheeella

pheeella

This user account status is Approved

i'm going to canada in a week. i've never been out of the county before, so i'm not really sure mentally how i should feel about it. i keep telling pepole i'm excited, because that's how i think i should feel. but i don;t really know. i just feel pretty average about it. like, "oh, yeah, i'm going all the way up to canada....yay..." but i get to do snow every show, so that's pretty cool.

i think that's my problem. i keep wanting to write something profound that people will read and think "wow, look at that incredibly intelligent sixteen year old." and then i end up sitting here writing something cheesy and hoping someone will like it, just hoping for attention of something, anything. see my use of commas and repetition? cheesy attempts. see my subtle use of questions? another cheesy attempt. see my tone of accusation? cheesier and cheesier. ah, more repetition. ah, the obnoxious use of the onomatopoeic "ah." ah the use of long words I had to look up the spelling of. ah, more accusations. ah, more ah's. not profound. just cheesy attempts. (<repetition) (<accusation)

we got my mom one of these for her birthday the other day. not in the human sense. this one is grey and really soft. you sit on your bed with your back against it, like a cushioned, supportive headboard. when i was younger, she told me it was called a reader. liar. ;)

sacrifice. lambs. poor lambs. i never understood that. why does killing something else reestablish reaffirm rewhatever someone's "faith"? or "commitment"? it doesn't make sense. "i would do anything for you, including 'kill this lamb'. watch me, see?"

i just finished writing about religion, so of course i'm in a jesus-y mood. which kills me, because it seems so catholic-school-conventional. but there you have it. jesus is a shepherd. we are the flock. because that's what the bible says. so it must be true. i'm not sure why i have a problem with this, but apparently i do. or did that not come off?

automatic super sonic. the something something invention....something or other of hugo cabret. that was a good book. it was interesting. i hear there's a sequel that just came out. well actually, i just saw it at the bookstore the other day. not sure what this one is about, but there's an automaton in the first one. automatic-man. that's what i think of, at least. automobile: auto mobile. a mobile is something that moves. automaton: auto maton. but what is a maton?

its funny, because i was sitting here waiting in that millisecond between hitting "go" and seeing the word that pops up, in that millisecond between when the word pops up and when you register what the words actually is and what it means. so i was sitting here, and i thought "hm. i'm tired. i hope the word is something i can relate to." and there it is. oop, 60 seconds.

this is my favorite tv show. i hate that this is what i think of first when i see this word, its so typical of my generation. i was hoping to use this to get better at writing, but then i see this word that used to mean all of these fantastical things to me, and all i can think of is this show that i watch religiously. unfortunately. but it's about a writer, so that has to count for something. maybe not.

dull

i've been doing much too much science. well, it's not that i'm doing too much, it's just that it's taking up so much of my time. i take too many notes. but then i need to stop and wait to be picked up and taken home before i can continue. because the point of my pencil is dull. and i simply can't have that. i don't know why. i just can't. i guess i could probably bring more pencils. but they'll all just get dull again too.

dull

history homework. i don't know what my problem is. i have had this assignment due for a few days now, and i just have no interest in completing it. i open the textbook, read the chapter, then have to start over because i have absolutely no recollection of what i've just read. it's driving me nuts.

load more entries

writing since 2011 · 22 entries · 18 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means phoetus showed up.

5longest streak

18days written

4.2entries / week

on this day 15 years ago

phoetus wrote about dull
“history homework. i don't know what my problem is. i have had this assignment due for a few days now, and i just have no interest in completing it. i open the textbook, read the chapter, then have to…”

the words phoetus reaches for

wordlovenowsecondslandleastcleanreadsittingbettermeanstackscheesymysteryhappenpretty