raella1
I'm not very outgoing in the sense that I can't seem to tell my friends how I feel.
One of them has been upsetting me lately--and I've been having a hard time with everything lately.
And if I felt comfortable enough I would be able to tell him why, but the sad thing is he doesn't see that something's wrong.
And if he can't support me at my worst then he certainly doesn't deserve me at my best.
there is a poster of usher in my room
i received it a long time ago. probably in the year 2000.
other posters have come and gone but that one remains
and every time i return from college my family is there to greet me
and though my room is dusty and old and things have changed in it, usher smiles at me
as if to say welcome home
my brain is rattling right now. i can hear it. the thoughts are rattling around inside of it ricocheting off the edges and trying to spill out of my mouth and ears.
and the actual brain is rattling. inside my skull. that's why my head hurts so badly now.
i was bitten once.
not by a dog. not by a cat. not by a mosquito. mosquitos don't bite anyway. they suck your blood through injection.
i was bitten by a person.
he left teeth marks in my neck
blood gathered around the spot but didn't spill
it really hurt
but it felt so good too
i blaze always. it's who i am and it's what i do. i blaze away my problems and each time i inhale and exhale it's like i lose another thing that i should be worrying about. but i'm young and stupid. so i will continue to blaze until i'm older and i know better.
ironic that the word of the day describes the weather where I am at this moment.
pastels are really pretty. they remind me of the leaves i used to pick when i was little.
cherry blossoms. gorgeous cherry blossoms, on my way back from the library.
pastels also remind me of babies. and fields. and youth. i still have my youth, but i long for an earlier time still. I love pastels. I wont ever outgrow them.
belief makes things real, like gavin degraw said. It is subjective. I believe, therefore it is real; you don't therefore it is not. belief is what brings us together and tears us apart. it saves lives and ruins them. how can something so wonderful be so confusing and hurtful at the same time?
the most awkward time. the time in between two meals. the time that isn't very early but is also not too late.
But also the time that is most beautiful, and the time that creates the most variety and excitement and deliciousness, both sweet and savory.
i am 20. this is my life's brunch time.
weaving more time into my day for enjoyment.
weaving more health into my life so that I can have more time in my day.
That's the most difficult part of life.
writing since 2012 · 11 entries · 11 days shown up
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soonpastelsblazerattlingweavingbeliefrealthereforeremindcherryblossomsyouthwordbittenbloodspill