rainfall
I watched the blood drip down my hand in mild fascination. So many blood cells, almost like tiny worlds falling. As I do, so do they.
"So death really is equal."
I wonder all the time, and the whole day. Every day, I look to the clouds and I wonder... will he love me?
Like I love him. (All the stars in the sky...)
I wonder... can he even love me? (Until forever ends. Until tomorrow.)
Wait for me.
I used to be terribly afraid of bees. I used to run away when one flew too near me. Sometimes I cried.
Now I just stand firm, and await the bee to fly away to it's next victim.
I almost saved her. Now she was lying in my arms. Almost alive, almost dead. But never nearly mine.
I am so out of control right now. Well... I don't know. Maybe the control I have over this, is out of control. That's how crazy this dream of mine is making me. I'm not sure who's in control, me or the dream.
I wasn't being specific enough I guess. I suppose my jealousy wasn't obvious, or the way I seemed angry that he didn't see me. Perhaps the way I smiled at him wasn't the way I thought it was. I'll be more specific this time:
I love you, I love you, I love you.
Please see me.
"It's just basic stuff. God."
Well, it's not basic to me. It's not. I can't understand this at all. So thanks for making me feel stupid, and worthless.
Seems to be basic for you to cut people down.
"Oh, wow. Uh, thanks." I said, as I unwrapped another present. It appeared my mother got lazy again, and bought the cheap thing. She didn't put much thought into anything these days. Especially not me.
I am not as strong as they say I am. I just wear the mask of a warrior. I will fight with the image of a sword, but it is just a toy. I will not cry, not on the outside, no. I will continue to move on, but not without the invisible weight on my shoulders.
I plugged my iTouch into the wall. As usual, I had drained the batteries, letting the sooth sound of the music comfort me. It was all I needed right now... I just had to wait until the outlet did it's job, and charged my happiness.
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