reindeary

reindeary

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withhold your emotions, don't let them show if they see, then they will know if you can't hide it, let them go

her dress was adorned with pearls her smile adorned with sinister her hair pinned up in curls her arm graced a minister her eyes pierced the room like a sin and oh that blood red grin eyes like daggers and nails like blades her sparkling dress hiding her like shades

wheat

he is the sunlight streaming through my window in the morning that spreads warmth across my cheeks he is the hot cup of coffee with tendrils of steam that wakes me up he is the wheat toast right from the toaster with the bright berry jam in a layer on top he is the morning and i am the night

his purpose was to destroy to build things up and then destroy it, smash it to bits building up my trust just to wreck it building up my hopes to tear them apart and break them building and destroying playing a game that he always won and i always lost but it was a kind of addiction, this game, i just couldn't quit because maybe i liked to lose it

the seasons change but i never do people change but i stay the same the world around me is perpetually moving and turning and morphing from one thing to the next but i, i stay the same stagnant and stable and apathetically unchanged

stir

I watched her stir the dough, I'd like to think that she really wanted to make a nice breakfast for everybody but I knew that baking was just something to keep her busy. She had to keep her mind off of it--off of everything. Suddenly the ball of sugar and butter was the most important thing to her and nothing else mattered. I didn't want to be the one to snap her out of the trance and remind her of what happened. Who was I to infringe on her lackadaisical mood? Isn't ignorance bliss? But I'm sure feigned ignorance isn't counted in that saying.

late

it's too late for you to come on your white horse in the silver armor to sweep me off my feet and carry me off into the sunset it's too late for you to take back everything you said it's too late to help me, now it's too late too late too late not soon enough

did i forget to mention the way your eyes light up when you see the sky did i forget to mention how much i love your laugh and how you tilt your head to the side when you smile did i forget to mention how much i love the tinkling of your laughter when you think something's really funny well if i did, i'm mentioning them now

i thought when you said forever, you really meant it but i guess forever is a really long time, you know? i never really thought you could outlast forever, but i hoped you would but you didn't i thought when i said i'd be fine, i really meant it but i guess being fine is hard when you lose someone you love so much, you know? i never really thought i'd have to be without you, i hoped you'd stay but you didn't

his presence was like a flame slowly inching towards a stream of gasoline he ignited something within me that i never knew was there until he was he brought me alive and i never even knew i was dead he made black and white into technicolor his presence was like fire and i was ice, melting at his touch

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writing since 2011 · 45 entries · 43 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means paige showed up.

3longest streak

43days written

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on this day 14 years ago

paige wrote about possible
“is it possible that maybe just maybe somewhere deep within you, buried far down beneath all of those layers that you feel the same way about me that i feel about you?”

the words paige reaches for

runningbrokenhearttownhelloeyeswordslateloveleavingpetalsmemoriesholdmindleadingforget